Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has increased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Introduction

In these day the population of education its increaseing and that is more good for the ceuntry which in the future genz growth the country repution and the youth is upcoming future of these country moreover its good thing th education of people is increasing then previous years.

body 1

In my openion the number of people continuing their education after school has increased its glad to the there country and the growth of people education its good for the country gdp when the people of numbers is educated they do there own work and improve there family wealth moreover when people has educated there are more senseble and the living art the change altrough the growth of country economy its improve and the things of people is improve by the eduction well begin when people are more educated from there fathers and grandfathers its the they groeth well there family and the economy of our country.

body 2

Altrough in our country there are the people well being is not good becouse they are not educted they do the lever work for improving the well begin of there family its show thw importants of educted people overall in my country the preme minister is uneducted and its the most big problem for our coutry becouse the pm is destorying our country economy and increasing dept on our country.In my

conclusion

in my opening the number of people continuing their education after schools its very good for there family and the country.In these day the eduction is the more significant thing in people life

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You express a generally positive view, linking education with family prosperity and national economic growth, and you include a personal-country example about the prime minister. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it focuses mainly on education’s benefits and does not discuss the increased range of university and college courses. Several claims, such as education improving GDP or an uneducated leader damaging the economy, are asserted without clear explanation or relevant supporting examples. The conclusion repeats your position rather than drawing the argument together. The response contains 246 words, so it is four words below the required minimum; the 19 words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop each main point with a specific explanation or example and address both aspects of the development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has recognisable sections—an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion—and the body paragraphs broadly separate economic benefits from a concern about education. This gives the reader some sense of an essay structure. However, ideas are not arranged coherently within those sections: the first body paragraph repeats the link between education, family wealth and the economy, while the second moves abruptly from family welfare to a criticism of the prime minister. Connect each claim to the next in a clear sequence, and use paragraphing to develop one central point at a time. Linking words such as “moreover” and “although” are attempted, but their relationships are sometimes unclear or inaccurate, so they do not reliably guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “education,” “country,” “family,” and “economy,” and you attempt some topic-related expressions such as “GDP” and “continuing their education.” However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain understanding. Examples include “educted,” “repution,” “lever work,” and “living art,” while phrases such as “the growth of people education” and “the most big problem” are not natural English. Build a bank of accurate collocations for education and economic development, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain your ideas without relying repeatedly on “good,” “people,” and “country.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “when” and “although,” and the response includes simple statements as well as some subordinate clauses. However, grammatical control is inconsistent: errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. In “the number of people continuing their education … has increased its glad,” the clause structure is incomplete; “when people has educated” also has incorrect verb formation and agreement. Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries are often missing or inaccurate, as in “the education of people is increasing then previous years” and the run-on ending of the second body paragraph. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using correctly formed subordinate clauses and clear punctuation.

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