Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has increased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries , these days number of graduated people increase ,and the range of the course available at educational departments also increased it is very good in my country .I think it is positive development. Because the country in which the people more graduate the more progress in the country .

If there are schools and educational department are in little amount there are big problem in the country .Because ungraduated people face a lot of problems . in this cause there are no facalities available for workers .In this way country follow the way of decending order .And problems occurs

So i suggest, change the courses after some period .It proves a very good change in the country .Basically education is the root that save you from a lot of problems. In many countries that is happen that with education a lot of jobs are available. so it is best.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear opinion—“I think it is positive development”—and give relevant reasons, including that education can support national progress and improve access to jobs. However, the response addresses the topic only minimally: it does not explain the increase in course choices, and claims such as “the more progress in the country” are not developed with a specific example or explanation. The suggestion to “change the courses” is also unclear and not connected convincingly to your main argument. The response is 98 words below the required minimum, which limits the opportunity to develop and support your ideas. To strengthen your response, explain how wider course choice benefits students and provide a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you give your position first, then discuss problems caused by limited education, and finish with a recommendation and conclusion. Some links, such as “Because” and “In this way,” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several points are not clearly related, and the paragraphs do not develop distinct stages of an argument. For example, “So i suggest, change the courses” appears without a clear link to the preceding discussion. Sentence boundaries and repeated connectors also make the flow abrupt. Group related ideas into clear paragraphs and use linking phrases to show cause, contrast, and example more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “education,” “courses,” “workers,” “jobs,” and “progress,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or collocations make the meaning unclear. For instance, “educational departments” is not a natural way to refer to institutions, while “follow the way of decending order” does not clearly express the intended idea. There are also spelling errors such as “facalities” and “ungraduated.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. Learning collocations such as “higher education,” “course options,” and “employment opportunities” would help you express your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer cause-and-effect sentences, for example, “Because the country in which the people more graduate the more progress in the country.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but the structure is incomplete and difficult to understand. Errors with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries occur frequently: “number of graduated people increase” needs a clearer subject and verb form, and “problems occurs” has incorrect agreement. Several sentences begin with “Because” or “So” but are not joined smoothly to the surrounding ideas. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “which,” and “as a result.” Check each sentence for a subject, a correctly formed verb, and appropriate punctuation.

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