Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has increased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowdays in many countries number of people continuing there education due to increase in deveoplment and growth, school and universities range also increases.There are alot of oppourtunity avaible for the students .THere is a very tough compition among the students all over the world students compete other students on the basic of there concepts and knowledge.Recently i have done my FSc from Daanish school minawali every subject has his own scope and my background is pre-medical as well in this era its very difficult for me to continue my medical degree because its takes alot of monry on it so i choose namal as its my dream universty and applied for its admission.After passing my NAT test i secured fully admission in namal universty in the BBA department and currently i enrolled in ths subject.From medical to fsc its a very difficult task for me so in this era there is a door of oppourtunity which is open for all the students in worldwide beacause if we struggle to achieve our goals we can do it and it takes sometime to complete the goal.Its the positive impact on all the students because students can enrool themselves in the subject they want.Its a positive develpment on all the students. In the universities there are alot of students in differernt deparment they are studing to achieve there goals.But in my opinion it also have some kind of disadvantage like all the students could not finacially strong to enroll themselves in the high range univesities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a clear overall position by calling the expansion of further education a positive development, and your personal example of moving from a pre-medical background to a BBA course gives the response a relevant, individual perspective. You also acknowledge a drawback: some students cannot afford expensive universities. However, the discussion only partly answers the question because the benefits of having a wider range of courses are not explained in detail, and the financial concern is introduced briefly without showing its effects or offering support. Several claims, such as education being an “opportunity” for all students, remain general. Develop two or three main points with specific explanations or examples, and make the positive-versus-negative judgement consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response contains related ideas, including increased access, competition, your own educational choice, and financial barriers. The personal example provides a possible central thread, and the final sentence signals a contrasting point. However, ideas are crowded into one long paragraph, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the introduction, supporting reasons, example, and conclusion. Connections between points are also abrupt: the discussion moves from global competition to your university experience and then to affordability without clear transitions or explanation. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting arguments, and counterpoint, and guide the reader with accurate linking phrases such as “For example” and “However.” Clearer sequencing and referencing would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to education and opportunity, including “continuing their education,” “admission,” “department,” and “financially strong.” These terms help communicate the topic, and phrases such as “door of opportunity” show an attempt to express ideas beyond very basic wording. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, including “on the basic of there concepts,” “high range universities,” and “fully admission.” Spelling errors such as “oppourtunity,” “universty,” and “develpment” are frequent enough to distract the reader. Build a more accurate set of academic collocations and check spelling carefully; for instance, use “on the basis of their knowledge,” “expensive universities,” and “received admission.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to combine ideas using clauses, for example, “because it takes a lot of money” and “if we struggle to achieve our goals,” so there is some effort to move beyond short, simple sentences. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or run together, and errors in articles, agreement, tense, and punctuation frequently make the meaning harder to follow. For example, “number of people continuing there education” needs an article and a possessive form, while “every subject has his own scope” has an agreement and pronoun problem. The long sentence beginning “Recently i have done my FSc” contains several ideas that need to be separated. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then connect them with controlled complex structures and consistent punctuation.

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