Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The pie charts below show responses by teachers of foreign languages in Britain to a survey concerning why their students are learning a foreign language. The first chart shows the main reason for learning a foreign language. The second chart shows how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

% of teachers reporting the following as most common reason for learning:

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the pie charts gives the survey of students who learn foreign languages in Britain which is taken by teachers and the illustration of this chart in further paragraph.

to begin with, in the past years the most of the students were learnt new languages for travel and it was about 33% however it significantly decreases by 3%.The ratio buying properties and for business or work that was the reason of learning foreign languages and increases by 34%, on the other hand for business purpose its decreases upto 19%.

Moreover, the other reasons of students is being learnt new language are social contacts, personal development, foreign partner and lastly general interest and the percentages of those were 7,5, and 3 percentages and this ratio is fluctuate a little bit such as social contact is increased by 15% and general interest is same as before.

In conclusion , the highest number students learn foreign languages for 34% in recent days and in the past 33% of students were learnt for travel.

and the 3% of people have been learning new languages for partner.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to describe the data, but it fails to clearly distinguish between the two separate pie charts provided in the prompt. The description of the data is confusing and contains significant inaccuracies, such as stating that travel decreased by 3% when the data suggests otherwise. Furthermore, the report lacks a clear overview of the main trends, which is a requirement for Band 6 and above. The information is presented in a fragmented way, making it difficult for the reader to understand the relationship between the two charts. To improve, you must clearly identify the key features of each chart and provide a concise summary of the most significant trends rather than listing individual figures in a disjointed manner.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'to begin with' and 'moreover', which do not effectively link the data points. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult to follow which chart or data set is being discussed. The transition between the past and present data is abrupt and confusing. To improve, focus on using transition words that show clear relationships between ideas (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'whereas') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that contributes to the overall report structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'increased' and 'decreased'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'the ratio buying properties' and 'the percentages of those were 7, 5, and 3 percentages'. The use of 'percentages' as a noun after the numbers is redundant and grammatically incorrect in this context. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data with precision. To improve, you should learn to use a wider variety of verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'rose', 'declined', 'remained stable', 'proportion', and 'figure'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the pie charts gives'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'students were learnt'), and missing articles. Sentence structures are often simple and contain errors that make the meaning unclear. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and the use of capital letters. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using the correct tense when describing past and present data. Proofreading for basic errors like 'upto' (should be 'up to') is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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