Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people believe that work is the most important part of life, while others give more important to their hobbies and leisure activities. I believe that both are most important in our life.

On the one hand, the citizens feel that money is everthing because it allow people to purchase expensive things all over the world. Furthermore, working excessively can help people earn more income. As a result, this can be helpful for their family. To illustrates, when people work although, they can improve their lifestyle. Moreover, having a good job allow people to enjoy with their family.

On the other hand, some argues that working too much makes people tired. Therefore, haveay work can sometime for people difficult due to no manage time with their personal hobbies. It may be impact for

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce both attitudes and state a position—“both are most important in our life”—so the response is relevant to the question. However, the discussion is only minimally developed: the work-focused paragraph mainly says that work brings money and can improve family life, while the leisure-focused paragraph begins to mention tiredness and lack of time but ends unfinished at “It may be impact for”. Your own opinion is not explained, and there are no specific examples or supporting details to clarify why you consider both important. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, which leaves the task substantially incomplete. Develop both sides with reasons and examples, explain your position, and finish the second argument and conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic overall structure: an introduction is followed by paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand”. These signposts help the reader identify the two perspectives, and connectors such as “Furthermore” and “As a result” show attempts to link ideas. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited, and some links do not clearly express the relationship between the points—for example, “To illustrates” introduces an unclear example. The second body paragraph stops mid-sentence, so the discussion has no completed ending or conclusion. Build each paragraph around one clear main idea, connect supporting details explicitly, and add a concluding paragraph that restates your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “income”, “lifestyle”, “hobbies”, “leisure activities” and “personal hobbies”. This gives the reader a basic understanding of the ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling and collocation problems make the writing less natural, such as “give more important to”, “money is everthing”, “enjoy with their family” and “haveay work”. Some wording is also vague, particularly “this can be helpful for their family”, which does not specify the benefit. Aim for more precise phrases for work-life balance and leisure, and check spelling and common word partnerships. For example, use “place greater importance on” and “spend quality time with their family”.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a subordinate clause in “when people work…” and a result link in “As a result, this can be helpful for their family.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but errors in sentence construction and agreement occur repeatedly. Examples include “it allow people” instead of “it allows people”, “working excessively can help people earn” followed by an unclear example, and “some argues” instead of “some argue”. The final sentence, “It may be impact for”, is incomplete and does not communicate a full grammatical idea. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentence patterns, then proofread each sentence to ensure it has a clear subject and verb.

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