Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In modern times, the issue of employement has become highly controversial. It is often said that, having a job is very important for cover our daily expences. Other people believe that, individuals are more interested in hobbies and leisure than in having a job. In this essay, I will examine the both sides of argument and provide my overall opinion.

Generally speaking, there are a number of reasons why people believe that a job is the most important thing in their lives. Perhaps the main reason why people feel that is because it can improve their lives in addition having a job may help them to cover their daily expences. This is because, employment is the one of the main way to earn money. For example, people get a job for buy a new car or a house. Furthermore, working life can help people maintain their physical fitness. In addition, it can improve their mental skills. As a result, they can lead a stress less and healthy life.

On the other hand, there are also strong arguments for the idea that people are more interest in hobbies and leisure activities than their jobs. Perhaps the main reason why people feel that is because hobbies and leisure activites make people more creative. As a concequence, people are indepndent in their own work. For example, when individuals become feel free to their own hobbies and leisure activities, they may become more focuse and concentrated on their jobs. For instance, they may feel happy and satisfied. A further point in favor of this idea is they find their true talent. A good illustration is that, when childern have a good voice, in future they become a good public speaker or well singer.

In conclusion,it must be said that working as a employer has become a complex issue with no easy solutions. From my personal opinion it that, it totally depend on a person where he feel satisfied. hobbies and extracurricular activities not only make creative but also improved their knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You discuss both attitudes and give a personal view, so the response addresses the main parts of the prompt. The employment paragraph offers relevant points about earning money and improving one’s life, while the hobbies paragraph links leisure with creativity and satisfaction. However, the ideas are often asserted rather than explained: the connection between employment and physical fitness or mental skills is unclear, and the example about a child becoming a public speaker or singer does not fully show why hobbies should matter more than work. Your position is also difficult to identify precisely: the conclusion says priorities depend on the person, but then mainly praises hobbies. Develop each argument with clearer reasoning and state your own comparative view consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for each attitude, and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally stay focused, and signposts such as “On the other hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated frames such as “Perhaps the main reason why people feel that is because” and frequent “For example” or “In addition.” Some links between claims are not fully clear; for instance, the move from hobbies making people creative to becoming independent at work needs explanation. The conclusion also introduces “working as a employer” without clearly connecting it to the preceding discussion. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each claim and its example explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “employment,” “daily expenses,” “hobbies,” “leisure activities,” “creative,” and “satisfied.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “physical fitness” and “true talent.” However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “employement,” “expences,” “activites,” “consequence,” and “indepndent.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “become feel free to their own hobbies” and “well singer,” which can make the intended meaning harder to follow. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for work and leisure. Prefer precise expressions over repeating broad terms such as “important” and “good.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “because,” “when,” and “that,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in articles, verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction occur throughout. Examples include “important for cover,” “it can improve their lives in addition having a job,” “employment is the one of the main way,” and “it totally depend on a person where he feel satisfied.” The final sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure. These errors sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your point. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a correctly formed subordinate clause, then check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation before adding further complexity.

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