Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.
Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Few individuals consider their jobs as more compulsory thing in living and have bit interest in something another. While opponents are many positive to their hobbies and show few interest in their work. In these days hobbies are also important but people have to be more concerned to their work. In this essay we i will discuss both attitudes about hobbies and also jobs.
Individuals who are more concerned to their hobbies are those who love their hobbies. They are fond of their activities. But somehow they manage to focus on both their responsibilities and their hobbies. According to their thoughts they think having favourite hobbies is also important. They feel happiness while involving in their liking’s.
On the other hand individuals who give their work more importance then their hobbies are those who have a lot of responsibilities , so they have to put their favourite things or hobbies at the back. For example: if a person is interested in some specific sport like cricket but he has to quit his hobby due to his family background and responsibilities so he will be more concerned to his work rather than his liking’s.
In my opinion individuals should also focus on their work but also they must have a hobby. So, they can enjoy their self in free time.
People should be more concerned to their work first so they can reach their financial needs after that they should get involved in the things they like.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both attitudes and provides an opinion, but the development is limited. The ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack depth, particularly in the explanation of why people prioritize hobbies. The essay is also slightly under the 250-word minimum, which negatively impacts the overall task achievement. To improve, you should expand on your arguments with more specific examples and ensure that your position is clearly stated and consistently maintained throughout the essay. The current structure is a bit simplistic, and the arguments would benefit from more detailed analysis rather than just stating that people have responsibilities.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For instance, phrases like 'In these days' and 'According to their thoughts' are used awkwardly. The transition between paragraphs is basic, and the logical flow is occasionally interrupted by repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using a wider range of linking words and phrases more naturally to connect your ideas and sentences, ensuring that the progression of your argument is smoother and more sophisticated.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of words like 'hobbies', 'work', and 'concerned'. Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'compulsory thing in living' instead of 'priority in life' or 'more positive to their hobbies' instead of 'more enthusiastic about their hobbies'. You should aim to use a broader range of vocabulary, including synonyms and more precise collocations, to express your ideas more effectively and avoid repetitive language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'concerned to' instead of 'concerned with'), subject-verb agreement errors, and awkward phrasing like 'enjoy their self'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of colons and commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the clarity of your writing. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips.
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