Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people think that the work most important thing in life .But other people think that the hobbies and leisure are very important then their jobs.For my opinion and experience the work most important.

First of all,the work most important then their hobbies and leisure.Beacuse the hobbies and leisure given the money and time.And the men do not give the money then their do not the work or jobs.Hobbies and leisure are important in the person but the work are very important for the people.Work are important in life for the money.Money important for person then their hobbies and leisure.First of people,job in the company and the money recieve for the menijor.Then the money gave the children and the needs.Many people needs for the money gave to home needs children things etc.

Second off all,money are very important in the pocket .The people hobbies and leisure are important.First work or job important for people. Then the hobbies are important in the people.Money are very important in the life.For example home needs,friends needs,children things etc.Then their hobby are very easy.

In conclucion, work are important in the life.Because the money needs.Then their hobbies and leisure are very easy in life.Life needs to money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, as it is only 202 words long. While the essay attempts to address both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, the development of ideas is very limited and repetitive. The arguments regarding the importance of money are simplistic and lack depth or relevant examples. The position is clear, but the lack of elaboration and the failure to meet the length constraint significantly impact the overall task achievement. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and ensure you meet the minimum word count to allow for a full exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay uses basic paragraphing and some linking words like 'First of all' and 'In conclusion'. However, the progression of ideas is often unclear due to repetitive phrasing and a lack of logical flow between sentences. The cohesive devices are used in a mechanical and sometimes inaccurate way, such as the frequent misuse of 'then' to connect unrelated thoughts. The referencing is often confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that supports your main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic words like 'work', 'money', 'important', and 'hobbies'. There is little evidence of an attempt to use a wider range of vocabulary or less common lexical items. Many phrases are used incorrectly, such as 'the men do not give the money then their do not the work', which impedes clarity. To achieve a higher band, you need to expand your vocabulary to include more precise terms related to employment, financial stability, and personal interests, and work on using these words in the correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting almost entirely of simple sentence structures. There are frequent and persistent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement ('work are important'), article usage, and word order. These errors are pervasive and often make the meaning difficult to interpret. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures, which are necessary for higher band scores. To improve, you should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb forms and the appropriate use of articles, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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