Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.
Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is often argues that some adults prioritize work as a most crucial thing in life. While often individuals contend that more zealous for their hobbies and personal interests. I firmly believe that spending duration with their hobbies are more vital in our life.
On the one hand, work obsession may leads to pernicious illness. Workaholic gradually accumulates several predicaments such as stress, tiredness, disease, depression and even cancer. Moreover, after the retirement or unemployment, the elderly might lose their life purpose to be elated.
On the other hand, the adults who joyfully comprehend how to entertain themselves by personal hobbies would be most formidable person. Additionally, it is essential to adjust their life cycle to conduct their break time to enjoy hobbies for escalating employees’ well-being and satisfaction.
Also, it is often requirable for employees to find out their preferences to
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 142 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the prompt asks to discuss both attitudes and provide an opinion, the discussion is truncated and lacks sufficient supporting evidence or examples. The essay ends abruptly mid-sentence, meaning the task is not fully addressed. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and ensure you reach the required length to allow for a full exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to structure the response. However, the logical progression is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph is unfinished, which disrupts the overall flow. The relationship between ideas is sometimes unclear due to the brevity of the points made. To improve, focus on completing your thoughts within each paragraph and using a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some awkward word choices, such as 'requirable' and 'formidable person' (used in an incorrect context). Phrases like 'pernicious illness' and 'life cycle' are used, but their collocation is occasionally unnatural. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary rather than relying on general terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('work obsession may leads') and incorrect sentence structure ('While often individuals contend that more zealous for their hobbies'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the errors in basic grammar are noticeable throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and sentence construction. Proofreading for basic errors like missing verbs or incorrect word forms will significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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