Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There are some people who are so inclined and delved into their work that they don't have any time for their family. Like for instance if I talk about my father, who has been working all my life and he barely has any time for us. I remember I rarely saw my father when i was in school or college as he was constantly piled up in meeting or in work. Due to this it created am emotional distance and a baggage between us which cant be repaired with all the years we have been through, as i remember he could'nt be able to show up in my games or in any contest when I compete or in my teenage life when I am in a situation because his work was his priority not his family.

On the other hand I have seen people who are more enthusiastic in their hobbies and enjoyment. i have seen my uncle who was like this and it had its problems as well. Due to his priorities that were his enjoyment and hobbies like hanging out with friends , wasting his time and money on gaming not taking care of their family financially.

So i have seen both type of people in my life and what i believe is, that a person should have a clear balance on what to do. Its good to work because you have a family to support but on the other hand its important to have your hobbies and fun as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both attitudes mentioned in the prompt, but the development is quite limited. The essay relies heavily on personal anecdotes about family members rather than discussing the broader societal implications or reasons for these attitudes. While a personal opinion is provided in the conclusion, it is brief and lacks depth. To reach a higher band, you should expand your arguments to include general observations or societal trends, rather than focusing exclusively on individual examples. The discussion of the 'work-focused' and 'hobby-focused' perspectives remains superficial, failing to fully explore the motivations behind these choices.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite basic and sometimes repetitive. For example, the transition 'On the other hand' is used correctly, but the overall flow between sentences is often disjointed. Some sentences are linked poorly, such as the transition into the second paragraph. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, and the progression of ideas feels somewhat mechanical. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some informal phrasing, such as 'hanging out' and 'wasting his time', which is less appropriate for an academic essay. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'piled up in meeting' and 'emotional distance and a baggage'. To improve, focus on using more academic vocabulary and precise collocations. Avoid colloquialisms and try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas more clearly and professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'he could'nt be able to show up', 'when I compete or in my teenage life when I am in a situation', and 'I have seen both type of people'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect apostrophe usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.

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