Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Many individuals think that being a 9 to 5 job is crucial less passion on what they really love. while many other members are way more exicited and interset towards their desired passion and low attention to their work.In these essays i am going to discuss.

Firstly, many job holders are immensely dedicated towards their work even though they have a passion to follow achieve. However as in present society we live a huge inflation crashing resulting unemployment and leading to poverty.Due that students leave their passion behind to survive not himself but to this own family. For example one of my freinds dad died and have to take all the responsibilities of the family. He is a one in those millions today sufferring of not able to follow their desired carrier.

Secondly, many work people are excited and interseted in their hobbies and find time for themselves rather than in their job. I personally feel that they are able to afford and capable of putting their work at risk does not effect. Moreover some community in a society wants people to bring together and communicate with one and other to make similar vibe freinds. For instance i am girl who is extremely introvert and joins multiple jam clubs for connects this help a vast community brings at one table with same ambitions,dreams.

In conclusion, I respect adore aspire people who scarifice all their wants and dedicate their life to family and work its not like they dont want to have fun these peple gave up for the responsibilites they carry.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, which aligns with the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited and frequently obscured by poor expression. For instance, the discussion regarding inflation and poverty in the second paragraph is underdeveloped and disjointed. The writer touches upon relevant points, such as financial necessity overriding personal passions and the social benefits of leisure clubs, but these ideas lack clear extension and consistent support. The conclusion attempts to state a clear personal stance, yet the overarching argument remains somewhat fragmented throughout the essay. This places the performance firmly in the Band 5 category, as the task is only partially addressed due to under-developed ideas and unclear positioning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing a basic awareness of structure. However, logical progression is severely hindered by awkward transitions and confusing statements, such as 'In these essays i am going to discuss.' Cohesive devices are used mechanically or inaccurately (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Due that'), and referencing is often unclear, making it difficult to follow the flow of arguments. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion fails to connect sentences smoothly. For example, the transition from economic hardship to personal anecdotes lacks logical bridges. These issues reflect the Band 4 descriptor, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently enough to ensure clear progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with numerous word-choice and collocation errors that frequently impede communication. Examples include 'being a 9 to 5 job', 'exicited and interset', 'carrier' instead of career, and 'freinds dad died and have to take all the responsibilities'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'inflation' and 'introvert', but these are handled with significant inaccuracy. Spelling mistakes are also prevalent throughout the text. Because the lexical range is very limited and errors frequently strain the reader's understanding, the performance matches the criteria for Band 4.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay, with a very limited range of structures and frequent errors that frequently distort meaning. The text contains numerous sentence boundary errors, fragments, and missing verbs or prepositions, such as in 'He is a one in those millions today sufferring of not able to follow their desired carrier' and 'i am girl who is extremely introvert and joins multiple jam clubs for connects'. Complex sentence attempts are almost uniformly faulty. Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic. Due to the high frequency of basic grammatical errors that cause constant difficulty for the reader, this response warrants a Band 4 score.

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