Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I strongly agree that some people regaed work as the most important thing in lifeand most time , have little or no interest in anything else. while other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs. Having your job as the most important is very good as such that your job is the major reason through which you survive . we gain sustainance and finaciel surpport through our job and it also help us to live a healthy life in the aspect of keeping our mind and body very active and sound. it's obvious that when you do not regard your work as the most important and unable to pay your bills, it's possible to go into depression and frustration. So, i think to priotize your job is more important than being focused on hobbies. Hobbies is also good because it will keep you happy but you cannot do away with your job as a result of mear hobbybeing intrested on only your hobbies cannot put food on your table and cannot pay your bills. their was a time i was intrested in

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You express a clear preference for prioritising work, and you give relevant reasons: employment provides income, helps people pay bills, and can support an active, healthy life. You also briefly acknowledge that hobbies can bring happiness. However, the response only minimally discusses the contrasting attitude, and the personal example begins (“there was a time I was interested in”) but is unfinished. The argument therefore remains limited and under-developed, and the discussion does not fully address both sides. The response contains 174 words, so it is 76 words short of the 250-word minimum; 14 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To improve, develop both attitudes with specific examples and complete your own supporting example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response has a discernible line of thought: it moves from the value of work to the practical consequences of not prioritising it, then briefly recognises the benefits of hobbies. Connectors such as “because,” “but,” and “as a result” show an attempt to link ideas. However, the writing is presented as one long paragraph, and several points run together, making the progression difficult to follow. The shift to hobbies is abrupt, while the final personal example is cut off. Some linking is also repetitive rather than guiding the reader through a developed comparison. Use separate paragraphs for the work-focused view, the leisure-focused view, and your opinion, and make each paragraph’s main point clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “prioritize your job,” “depression and frustration,” “pay your bills,” and “healthy life.” These phrases help communicate your central argument. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or imprecise expressions make the writing less clear, such as “regaed,” “sustainance,” “finaciel surpport,” and “mear hobby.” Some wording is also awkward, including “the major reason through which you survive” and “being focused on hobbies.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, while varying repeated references to jobs and hobbies. More precise terms such as “financial security” and “work-life balance” would help express your ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine ideas using subordinate clauses and contrast, for example, “when you do not regard your work as the most important…” and “Hobbies is also good because…”. These attempts show some range beyond short, simple statements. However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and errors in agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation occur frequently. For instance, “Hobbies is” should use a plural verb, and the opening runs several clauses together without clear sentence boundaries. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “while” and “i.” Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them with accurate conjunctions. Check subject–verb agreement and use full stops to separate distinct claims.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.