Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modren and fast growing world, satying calm has become a wish for few people. The world is moving with that much speed, if we stop even for a while and do to work or job we will be left far behind. In these scenerios it is important to take time for your personal health and calmness. For people who just priortise thier work against any self helping activity are the people who end up gainig nothing much but regrets. They need to understand that as the wolrd which is outside them and thier body is important same as so thier inner ones. If i talk about the way i was drowned in only work and nothing else will be so dramatic. I had a job of Sales Development Reprenstative, even thought is was a remote job but i have to work for all day and some of the nights as well. That was the time when i had the most pressure on my head. As there were targets, KPIs and quotas to maitain, i just fogot that i have to save for myself as well. After working day and night i came to know, no matter how hard of often i work, company is never going to give me any share or ownership and there is no possible benifit of taking it that further rather than just of my monhtly salary. During that time, it was very hard for me to maintain my mental health and physical. From then i came to know that no matter what is going on in the life i should never take it more important than my own health or prioritise.

For people who only do work and never prioritise are going to regret but as i shared my experience, from my prespective there is no more important thing to do than keeping your mental and physical health good. As far as i am concerned, is there is something going on really bad outside, and we are facing terible experiences but we have our mental health calm and we are patient enough, that experinece will not betray us and even we will be able to handle every situation more strategically.

But in order to maintain balance between our personal and professional lives we have to divide our working hours and deligate specific hours to just personal development, which we can use for reading books, playing or doing some cirrcullar activities which keeps us healthy.

People who often priotise or are obbessed hobbies and don't look for thier professional future at all are going their own betryal by thier own eyes as well. We should keep things organised so we actually know what is going on with our own time and health. Hobbies are great way to feel relaxed and fresh but as soonn as they turn into obbsessions they are our first most take down. No matter if it is hobby, work or something else, access of everything is always bad. So we should definetly need to keep everything in order and balaced in such a way that it does not effect us.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear view that health and personal wellbeing should not be sacrificed for work, and your account of working long hours in sales supports this position with a relevant personal example. You also acknowledge the opposite concern, noting that people who become absorbed in hobbies may neglect their professional future, and you recommend balance. However, the discussion of why some people regard work as central to life is brief: targets, KPIs and salary are mentioned, but the motivations or benefits of work are not explored. The hobbies-focused attitude is also treated mainly as an extreme rather than discussed in its own right. Develop both perspectives more evenly and explain how work and leisure can each contribute to a fulfilling life.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: it introduces the issue, develops your work experience, states your view, and then considers balance and excessive commitment to hobbies. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages. However, progression is not always clear because several ideas recur—especially the need to protect health and avoid excess—without adding much new support. Some links are awkward or mechanical, such as “For people who only do work and never prioritise” and “But in order to maintain balance,” while the opening moves quickly from the fast pace of the world to personal health without a clear connection. Use topic sentences to signal each paragraph’s purpose, and make references and transitions more precise so each point builds on the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “mental health,” “professional future,” “targets,” “quotas,” and “personal development.” These terms help communicate your experience and position. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations are noticeable throughout, sometimes making the reader pause: examples include “satying calm,” “priortise,” “drowned in only work,” “take it more important,” and “access of everything.” Some expressions are also repeated, particularly “health,” “work,” and “important,” which limits flexibility. Build a reliable set of collocations for work-life balance and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise phrases such as “become absorbed in work,” “place greater importance on,” and “excessive involvement” where they fit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences with subordinate clauses, for example, “After working day and night I came to know…” and the conditional sentence beginning “if there is something going on really bad outside.” This shows an effort to express cause, contrast and conditions. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction can make meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “i have to work for all day” and “company is never going to give me any share” need more accurate grammatical patterns; the sentence beginning “For people who just prioritise…” is also incomplete or unclear. Practise building complex sentences around one main clause, and check tense consistency, subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation.

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