Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A section of society believe that work is most crucial thing in their lives and others show more interest in their hobbies than their jobs . From my perspective , focus on work is help to become expertise and pursuing interest helps to stay away from stress .

On the one hand, proponets of work saying the work is important thing in life because it makes people more expert in their fields. To explain, when people give more time to their passion and they are paying more attention to their failures or mistakes related to their field.So, It helps to gain more experience about work and with the experience they become expert in their field . Thus , it leads to more likely to get promote in higher position. Additionally, people who do overtake in their jobs, it helps to become more financial stable . when people busy in their work , they are less prone to overthinking and unusal thoughts .

On the other hand, people who are compelling with their hobbies and interests. For elaborate, people are pursuing their hobbies after getting off to their duties. After work , people can enjoy their hobbies with friends . It helps to better interaction with friends and discuss their ideas with them. As a result, it helps to get relief from stress and pressure of responsibilities. Moreover, when people spend their spare time with families , it ehances relationships with their children . They can diccuss concerns and house related issues with each other. Consequently, it enables to strenghten bond with their families.

Although, Give proper attention to work has a significant benefits, enjoy interests help to become more independent. In my opinion, a combination of both job and hobbies is better approach to live happy life . people give proper time to both proffession and personal life. concernate on work helps to get easily promotion and pursue hobbies lead to away from stress and make strong bond with families.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both attitudes and give a clear overall view: the discussion links work with expertise and financial stability, while hobbies are associated with stress relief and stronger family relationships. Your conclusion also states that balancing work and personal interests is preferable. These relevant points meet the task, but they are not developed evenly. The work paragraph makes several claims, such as that dedication can lead to promotion, without a specific example or explanation of when this might happen; the point about being less prone to overthinking is also unclear. The hobbies paragraph offers more concrete social and family benefits. To strengthen the response, explain each main claim with a brief example and make your position more explicit throughout, rather than mainly in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two attitudes, and a concluding opinion. Transitions such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In my opinion” help readers follow the overall direction. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement, although some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “So” and “Thus” repeatedly introduce consequences, while the sequence from work experience to promotion and financial stability needs clearer explanation. The opening of the final paragraph, “Although, Give proper attention…,” does not connect smoothly to the preceding discussion. Use fewer formulaic connectors, make cause-and-effect relationships explicit, and ensure each paragraph develops one central idea in a logical order.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “expertise,” “overthinking,” “responsibilities,” and “strengthen bond,” and you attempt to express ideas about career progress and personal relationships. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “people,” “work,” and “helps,” and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning less clear. Examples include “proponets of work,” “do overtake in their jobs,” and “become more financial stable.” Spelling errors such as “ehances,” “diccuss,” and “proffession” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of phrases for career commitment and leisure, and check spelling and collocations carefully. More accurate vocabulary would make your arguments easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional-style explanation beginning “when people give more time…” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in basic sentence construction recur. For example, “work is most crucial thing” is missing an article, while “focus on work is help to become expertise” has an incorrect verb pattern. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “their field.So, It helps…” and the lower-case sentence beginning “when people busy…”. These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb patterns, articles, and complete clauses, then proofread punctuation and capitalisation. Aim for a reliable mix of shorter accurate sentences and carefully controlled complex ones.

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