Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.
Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
While some would consider their career as the most significant objective in life and show limited interest in additional activites, others are more excited about pursuing their interests apart from their jobs, such as outdoor and indoor leisure activities. I believe career and work cannot be disregarded for the value it brings in an individual's life however, employees should spare their time for other activites that can make them feel relieved.
Establishing a career, and being more serious about work can help individuals build their life. Regarding work as more important than other facets of life can help an employee achieve monetary benefits prior in time. For instance, an employee more dedicated to work can suggest an idea of raise for themselves to his superiors and is likely to recieve it. In addition, work is generally responsible to provide a sense of ambition. An employee that regards work as the most vital aspect of their life, is driven more and more as they recieve credit for their contributions which in turn leads to higher motivation to succeed. Hence, with higher motivation comes an increasing ambition to climb and make progress in a certain career.
On the other side, some people are more inclined towards their hobbies in order to focus on their personal agenda. This might mean that individuals like this want to focus on acquiring new skills and nurture their personal growth and interests. My friend Sarah is an avid reader and is interested in reading books even at her workplace, this resulted in her improved writing skills and thus helped her publish her first novel. She was able to achieve a personal goal as she was more enthusiastic about her hobbies than work. In addition, other employees involved in hobbies and leisure might just be looking for striking a balance in life. As a result, they tend to indulge in activities like painting, swimming, gymnastics and writing to be able to do both work and life at the same time.
To conclude, allowing work to be the most important thing in life could be to achieve monetary or career oriented benefits from some employees perspective whereas others might be intrigued to try out new things or develop a personal goal and skills in order to have more balance in life. I believe, that neither work nor hobbies should be undermined for the purpose they bring in an individual's life and people should try and allow work and leisure activities to take up their time equally.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
You address both attitudes and state a clear position: work matters for its financial and motivational benefits, but leisure should also have a place. The two body paragraphs develop relevant reasons, and Sarah’s reading and novel-writing example gives the hobby-focused view concrete support. This fits a response that covers all parts and extends its ideas. Some claims, however, remain broad or are not fully explained. For example, the suggestion that a dedicated employee can “suggest an idea of raise” does not clearly show how commitment leads to a raise, and the final recommendation that work and leisure take up time “equally” is asserted rather than justified. Explain the causal links and qualify generalisations to make the argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The essay has a clear four-paragraph structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each attitude, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “For instance,” “In addition,” and “On the other side” help distinguish and connect points. The examples are generally placed where they support the relevant idea. At times, however, linking is somewhat formulaic, and some connections between claims could be made more explicit. In the work paragraph, the move from receiving credit to greater motivation and then ambition repeats a similar idea rather than advancing it clearly. The conclusion also restates the two positions without drawing together the reasoning. Use transitions selectively and make each sentence’s relationship to the preceding point more precise.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “monetary benefits,” “personal growth,” “avid reader,” and “career-oriented benefits.” These choices help express both professional and personal motivations. There are also several inaccurate or unnatural word choices and collocations, which limit precision: “additional activites” is misspelled, “suggest an idea of raise” is not idiomatic, and “responsible to provide” is an awkward combination. “Personal agenda” does not clearly convey the intended meaning of personal interests or goals. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “request a pay rise,” “provide a sense of purpose,” and “personal goals.” This will make your vocabulary more precise without requiring unnecessarily complex wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including subordinate clauses and relative clauses, as in “which in turn leads to higher motivation” and “as she was more enthusiastic about her hobbies than work.” Meaning remains clear throughout, and several sentences are controlled. Some grammatical and punctuation errors persist, however. In the opening, “however” needs stronger punctuation or a conjunction between the contrasting clauses. The sentence “An employee that regards work as the most vital aspect of their life, is driven…” has an unnecessary comma separating the subject from its verb. In “I believe, that neither work nor hobbies…,” the comma is also misplaced. Review clause boundaries, commas, and agreement in longer sentences. This would build on your existing structural variety and improve consistency.
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