Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.
Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In todays rapidly changing world for some indiviuals their work is far more important in their life and have lilttle interest in anything else while other believe the being passionate about their hobbies and spare time interests than their jobs.This essay will discuss both prespectives, before explaining why i agree with that people should be passionate about their hobbies and spare time activities, as they can be more creative and full of happines . Being involve in different hobbies and in free time activites can make person relax and active minded person so they can find solution in difficulties what they are facing in their job and business make this apparoch more benefical.
Hobbies and activities when can be cause of relexation for person is very important key component for person.Although this development offer several advantages. Hobbies like reading,drawing , play any sports is very important for human mind and their body to keep them healthy ,active and joyfull.Not having hobbies and spare time can make person exhausted and it can lead to anxiety issues and depression.For example in my family my father used to work 7 days in week and he did not have any hobbies after sometime he started be exhausted and became a blood pressure patient and after discussing it with doctor, the doctor recommended him to go on vaction, have break from work.
then he start walk , went or vaction with family and started playing cricket.As a result he felt so calm and became a healthy and happy person again.
On the other hand , totally focused on work is also important because it can lead to a person to be successful and finically free .Giving your full time to your work and your business can make a person punctual, work oriented . Spend all of your can make you master in your work can lead a person to become master in their work and they can generate money from it and become rich as everyone wants to rich and i beleive that its the significant advantage of it . For example i had a friend who used to work all the time on his clothing brand and in few month he own well known clothing brand in my country and he is earning are highest from my other friends.
As as result putting all your time in work can make you successful and rich.In contrast, being in different activities and hobbies can make you health , joyfull, happy person and it is the most important fact to live a happy life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both attitudes and state a clear preference for hobbies and leisure, especially in the opening and conclusion. The examples of your father’s health improving after taking a break and your friend succeeding through intense work are relevant and help illustrate both sides. This meets the task’s main requirements. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others: the benefits of leisure are linked to health and relaxation, while the work-focused argument mainly equates success with wealth and does not consider possible costs, such as stress or reduced personal time. Your opinion could also be explained more precisely, since the conclusion lists benefits of both approaches without clearly weighing them. Develop the comparison and explain why one attitude is ultimately more important to you.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on hobbies, a paragraph on work, and a concluding statement. The examples generally appear alongside the point they support, so the reader can follow the main discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track, and several links are mechanical or unclear. For instance, “Although this development offer several advantages” does not clearly connect to the preceding sentence, while “As as result” and “In contrast” do not accurately express the relationship between the ideas that follow. Some points are repeated, particularly the claims that hobbies bring happiness and work brings success. Use clearer topic sentences, make each paragraph develop one central point, and choose linking expressions that show the intended relationship.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “passionate,” “anxiety,” “depression,” “punctual,” and “successful,” and the reader can generally understand the intended meaning. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “important,” “person,” “work,” and “happy.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, including “indivuals,” “prespectives,” “relexation,” and “finically free.” Some combinations are unnatural, such as “active minded person,” “generate money from it,” and “earning are highest.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause to interpret the message. Build a more precise range for discussing work-life balance and check spelling, word forms, and common collocations when editing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including cause-and-effect structures such as “Not having hobbies and spare time can make person exhausted and it can lead to anxiety issues and depression.” However, complex sentences are often not controlled successfully, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation can make parts difficult to follow. For example, “while other believe the being passionate” has an incomplete and incorrectly formed clause, and “he started be exhausted” uses an incorrect verb pattern. There are also run-on sentences and missing sentence boundaries, particularly in the opening and the work paragraph. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them with conjunctions; check subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb patterns, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.
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