Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

For some people work is the most precious thing in their life. They considered their life revolves arround the work they are doing and not take much interest in other side activities. While for other people their hobbies make them more excited and they feel less attractive toward their jobs.

Some people have responsibilities like in Pakistan people have bills to pay, monthly groceries, children school fee, health related expense and many more. For them job is the only thing to do and support family. They consider other things as waste of time and want to warn as much as possible to meet thier needs. Regardless of that they are mentally exhusted and stressed out.

At the same time people who are enthusiastic about thier hobbies look less attractive toward the jobs because for them the inner satisfaction is more important then any other thing. they prefer mental peace over finance. They want to enjoy thair life. But only those people can enjoy the life that those who do not have any responsibilities in life and financially stable.

In my opinion people who have responsibilites and have family belon

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both attitudes: some people prioritise work because they must support their families, while others value hobbies and personal satisfaction. The examples of bills, groceries, school fees and health expenses are relevant, and you begin to state your own view. However, the response addresses the task only partially: the discussion is brief, the second attitude is asserted rather than explored, and the final sentence ends unfinished at “people who have responsibilities and have family belon…”, so your opinion is not fully communicated. The response also falls 61 words short of the required minimum. Develop both sides with explanation or examples, complete a clear position, and add a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic paragraph structure: the opening introduces the two attitudes, followed by a paragraph about work and one about hobbies. Connectors such as “At the same time” and “In my opinion” help signal shifts. However, ideas are not arranged coherently enough to form a complete argument. The final paragraph stops mid-sentence, leaving your position and the essay’s progression unresolved. Some links are also unclear, particularly “But only those people can enjoy the life that those who do not have any responsibilities,” where the relationship between the ideas is difficult to follow. Use a clear sequence—introduce both views, develop each, then state and explain your opinion—and make references and transitions precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a minimally adequate range to communicate the main topic, including “responsibilities,” “inner satisfaction,” “financially stable,” and “mentally exhausted.” These expressions show some ability to discuss work and personal priorities. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the message, as in “arround,” “thier,” “warn” (apparently intended to mean “earn”), and “less attractive toward their jobs.” Several phrases are also awkward or repetitive, such as “enjoy their life” and “other things.” Build accuracy with common collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “earn as much as possible” and “less interested in their jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including the contrast beginning “While for other people…” and the explanation of family responsibilities. However, the range remains limited, and attempts at longer structures are often faulty. For example, “They considered their life revolves” mixes verb forms, while “people who have responsibilities and have family…” is incomplete. There are also errors in agreement and sentence boundaries, such as the lowercase “they” after a full stop and “people who are enthusiastic … look less attractive,” where the intended meaning is not expressed clearly. Practise complete, controlled sentences, consistent verb forms, and accurate clause connections before adding more complex structures.

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