Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

These days ,it is commonly seen that few people regard working is most imporatand things in life while otherss refuse it, believing that some interest in anlythings .many people are excated thinking dream interests than than their jobs . in rhis essay ,i will elaboeate on both sides of the arghument and present evidence in support of my stand.

To begin with,one of the aspects that people often talk about very importand things in life have little interest is that work in most importand part of our life people are uran money it can be greatly beneficial to individuals and the society. for instance people are working their are happy and arn money . it should also be nited that to support this therefore, one should foucs on how this can have a effect in the long run.

In contrast , there are some people who deny this and think that other people are many enthusiastic about their dream and job . in this regard i would say that it bears some trust. for example hobbies and job is very importand things in our life it seems to me that these aspects should also be taken into consideration.

In conclusion, depite that face that peope are very bg in their life can have both good and bed aspacts. i would personally support the view that it has more positive and negitive impact on their socirty and peple thus, we should weigh up several factors to understand diffrent aspects of this .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises both attitudes and includes a personal view, so it is connected to the question. However, the discussion is only minimal: the work-focused paragraph says that work brings money and may benefit people and society, but does not explain why someone might make work the central priority or develop a specific example. The paragraph about hobbies mentions that they matter, yet does not clearly explain their benefits or compare them with employment. Your position is also difficult to identify: the introduction promises a stand, while the conclusion refers vaguely to positive and negative impacts. State your opinion directly and support each side with a clear reason and a relevant example to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning with “To begin with” and “In contrast,” and a conclusion. These markers help the reader see that you intend to discuss opposing views. However, progression within paragraphs is weak because several sentences do not connect into a clear explanation; for example, “it should also be noted that to support this therefore” does not develop the preceding point. References such as “this” and “these aspects” are unclear, and the conclusion does not clearly draw together the two attitudes. Organise each body paragraph around one main idea, then explain it and give a specific example. Use linking phrases only where they show a genuine relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “work,” “society,” “hobbies,” “interests,” and “long run,” and use some signposting such as “In contrast.” However, the range is basic and repeated, and frequent spelling errors make several phrases difficult to understand, including “imporatand,” “excated,” and “socirty.” Some word combinations are also unclear or unsuitable, such as “people are uran money” and “enthusiastic about their dream and job.” Choose accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe work as a source of “financial security” and hobbies as a way to “relieve stress.” More precise, correctly formed expressions would make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer structures, including “while others…” in the introduction and “although…”-style contrast in the conclusion, and it uses basic sentence forms to introduce examples. However, sentence boundaries and grammatical relationships are often unclear. For instance, “people regard working is most important things” combines incompatible structures and lacks accurate article and agreement forms; “people are working their are happy” also has an unclear clause structure. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, with spaces before commas and several run-on sentences. Build reliable simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with accurate forms—for example, “Some people believe that work is the most important part of life, whereas others value leisure more.” Proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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