Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argued that some people considered job is the most important role in life and have some interest in others .Meanwhile, others people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

In this essay I will discuss both the views and states my opinion.

On the one hand being secure job is most important thing in life it gives financial security, social status in the society and being individual.But, spending majority of the time period on the work place can makes every human lose interest in their hobbies and makes them to give priority to the job.Although this interest make them to achieve the target and enchances in career growth to certain extent it is acceptable.Furthermore, it is necessary to spend the time with family members and give time to oneself to feel relax from the works.This is also help them in the job place.

On the other hand majority of the people think that instead of working it is better to invest the time on hobbies and interest to follow the passion. This type of attitude can leads to wrong path in life why because it doesn't have any goal or aim to achieve things are quite are not headed in straight and may leads to failure .So , it is better to set up the main dream and work hard in order to reach the goal this will bring success in life .

For instance, now a days most private employees in corporate organisations are focusing on the work to get promotions in lives and career growth this kind of work will make them happy.

In conclusion, in my opinion it is better to work as an employee of the company make the career growth and happy.Instead of following their passion or hobbies .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both attitudes and state a preference for prioritising employment, so the response is relevant to the question. The discussion of work includes financial security, social status and career growth, while the hobbies paragraph raises the concern that leisure without goals may lead to failure. However, these ideas are only briefly explained, and the second attitude is not explored fairly: enthusiasm for hobbies is treated mainly as a lack of direction rather than considering benefits such as fulfilment or wellbeing. Your example about corporate employees seeking promotions supports your view of work, but it does not illustrate both sides. Develop each attitude with a clear reason and a specific example, and make your position consistent and fully explained.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help identify the two perspectives. However, the overall progression is not always clear: the first body paragraph moves from job security to loss of hobbies, career growth and family time without showing how these points connect. The second paragraph also shifts from describing leisure-focused people to advising readers to set goals. Some linking phrases are awkward or repetitive, and the example is placed separately rather than clearly connected to the argument. Organise each paragraph around one central claim, then explain and illustrate it; use references and transitions that make the relationships between ideas explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “financial security,” “social status,” “hobbies,” “passion” and “career growth,” which allows the reader to follow the main subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “being secure job,” “invest the time on hobbies,” “wrong path” and “work as an employee of the company make the career growth.” Spelling errors such as “enchances” also reduce accuracy. These problems sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to interpret. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing work and leisure, and check whether each expression sounds natural in context—for example, use “pursue a hobby” rather than “invest the time on hobbies.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “Although this interest make them to achieve the target…” and “why because it doesn't have any goal or aim…”. However, these complex attempts are often faulty, and many basic sentence patterns also contain errors. Examples include “some people considered job is,” “others people are,” “can makes,” and “This is also help,” involving verb forms, agreement and sentence construction. Articles and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “being secure job is most important thing” and the run-on phrasing around “So” and “why because.” These errors can make the argument hard to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, articles and sentence boundaries.

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