Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs.

Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

We human are social animals. We need society, parks , entertiment and many other thing for survile. For full filing all our needs we need money so money come from doing jobs, selling buying goods and there are many other ways of earning money. As a world get develop the goods prices also get inceresd day by day. So when the prices get incerased then we have to earn more money. High demand is equal to high flow of money. As a student i have seen many difficulties for managing education fee where my father work hard, doing over time for runing home and managing all to full fill the needs of family. I have never seen him buying new clothes but for family he always buy colthes new things for us. In my point of view most people regard work as the most important things in life where as less interest on other things this statement is not worng because to get something we need to loose somethings. Then our life will move on right track. Yeah i know life and enjoyment is also most important things in our life but they are not our priotiy list. For enjoyment we need money without money our face won't have any simle and no motivation for survile. We need to manage both things and make life easy. At last i will say life is most important in compare to money so we need to work hard for betterment of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You express a view that work and earning money are important, and the example of your father working overtime to support the family gives the response a personal point of reference. However, the task asks you to discuss both attitudes, and the response gives little explanation of why some people prioritise hobbies and leisure. Your own position is also difficult to pin down: you support work as a priority, but conclude that “life is most important in compare to money” without explaining how this relates to the two attitudes. The ideas about rising prices and needing money are relevant but remain general and are not developed into a balanced discussion. The response is also one word below the required minimum. Develop both sides and state a consistent opinion clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from society and money, to your father’s example, and then to your opinion, so a reader can identify the broad direction of the response. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the discussion moves abruptly between earning money, family sacrifice, enjoyment, and the final claim about life. Linking phrases such as “So,” “Then,” and “At last” are used, but they do not consistently show how one point supports the next. Some references, including “this statement,” are unclear because the two attitudes have not been set out distinctly. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate paragraphs for each attitude, and a conclusion; use linking expressions to clarify relationships rather than simply mark sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “managing education fee,” “overtime,” “needs of family,” and “motivation,” and the reader can generally understand your central message. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to read, such as “entertiment,” “survile,” “incer esed,” and “priotiy.” Some combinations are also unnatural, for example “high flow of money” and “full fill the needs.” These errors are noticeable throughout and sometimes obscure meaning, which limits the precision of your argument. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases for work, leisure, financial pressure, and personal fulfilment, and check spelling and collocations carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “when the prices get incerased then we have to earn more money” and a relative clause in “where my father work hard.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, tense, and sentence construction occur frequently. For example, “We human are social animals” needs a plural form, while “my father work hard” does not match its singular subject. The sentence beginning “In my point of view” runs several ideas together without clear punctuation, making the argument harder to follow. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and separating complete ideas into sentences; then add complex clauses only when you can control their grammar.

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