Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the jobs in four sector of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, in graph job have been dividend into four part. In first, with straight line with no gap is manufacturing and the only one jobs which has maximum in past. In last, line made with dot is healthcare which was the lowest in the graph in past.

Firstly, four jobs sector in US was dominated by manufacturing sector. Other jobs were far behind the manufacturing sector. In 1960, highest in graph was manufacturing with 15 million job and retail and agriculture relatively equal with above 5 million jobs and far down was healthcare with 2.5 million job. By 1980, the result changed siginificantly with 20 year gap like healthcare surpass agriculture in job with 5 million and agriculture drecrease in 2.5 million. Whereas, the manufacturing and retail sectors sky rocket with 20 and 15 million jobs.

secondly, again after 20 year gap agrcultral maintain same position. Manufacturing decrease but still dominated the graph even 40 year time gap.healthcare climbed and broke the previous 2 decdade record and reached above 10 million.retail reached 15 million as manufacturing was before 1960. At 2020, figure change with shocking result as manufacturing which dominated the graph to 2000 was lower healthcare and retail with only 13 million jobs. And health which started slowly dominated other sector with retile. In last, agrculture far behind other sector with only 1.5 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad pattern: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, while healthcare rises from the lowest position and becomes one of the leaders by 2020. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare at about 5 million in 1980. However, some comparisons are inaccurate or unclear: retail reaches about 15 million in 2000, not 1980, and by 2020 healthcare and retail are both around 16 million, rather than healthcare simply dominating retail. Agriculture is about 2 million in 2020, not 1.5 million. The overview also focuses on line styles instead of clearly summarising the key trends. More precise reporting and a concise overview would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs, and the chronological grouping helps the reader follow changes over time. However, progression is weakened by unclear or mechanical linking, including “Firstly,” “secondly,” and “In last,” and some references are difficult to interpret. For example, “the result changed significantly with 20 year gap” does not clearly identify which year or comparison is meant, while “healthcare climbed and broke the previous 2 decade record” is vague. Several sentences run together without adequate punctuation, particularly around “time gap.healthcare” and “million.retail.” Use clearer year-based topic sentences, connect comparisons directly, and check sentence boundaries so the organisation feels more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends and comparisons, including “dominated,” “decrease,” “climbed,” and “far behind.” These choices show an attempt to vary language rather than repeat only “increased” and “decreased.” However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural collocations are noticeable, such as “dividend into four part,” “sky rocket,” “maintain same position,” and “shocking result.” Several sector names are also misspelled, including “agrcultral” and “agrculture,” which can distract from the data. Prefer accurate, neutral reporting language such as “was divided into four sectors,” “rose sharply,” and “remained stable.” Avoid dramatic wording and choose terms that describe the graph precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, using time clauses and contrast, as in “By 1980, the result changed…” and “At 2020, figure change with shocking result as…”. This gives the response some structural variety, but grammatical control is inconsistent. Errors include subject–verb agreement (“job have been”), articles and plurals (“four sector,” “20 million job”), and tense or verb-form problems (“agriculture drecrease,” “manufacturing decrease”). Some sentence boundaries and punctuation are also faulty, making relationships between clauses harder to follow. Practise forming accurate past-tense comparisons, for example, “Manufacturing fell to 17 million by 2000, while retail rose to 15 million.” More reliable basic sentence patterns will make your complex comparisons clearer.

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