Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in the America of four different fields of the economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, there was dominant of the Manufacturing sector from the beginning,but while coming in 2020 Retail and Healthcare took over.

Firstly,in the beginning of 1960 manufacturing filed rose steadely to became 20 millions in the 1980 while, Agriculture declined gradually by the 1980.Similarely, numbers of jobs remained all must constant in between 1980 and 2000 of Agriculture then it goes little downward in 2020.where number of jobs of manufacturing section declined continuously for 40 years till 2020.

Secondly,where Reail jobs number were also peaking up and made 10 millions in 1980 furthermore,they increase contiouously to make over 15 millions by 2020.Subsequently,healthcare was in the leat at the beggining of 1960 but by the gradual acceleration it reached the 15 millions by 2020 which was as same as of Retail where both are dominating over the over to sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main shifts: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. The overview also recognises that retail and healthcare become the leading sectors by 2020. These are relevant features and support a clear summary. However, some details are inaccurate or imprecise: manufacturing is still the largest sector in 2020 at about 13 million, rather than being overtaken in the sense that both other sectors exceed it; retail and healthcare are each about 16 million. Healthcare reaches roughly 16 million, not 15. The account of agriculture is also incomplete, as it falls from about 6 million to 3 million by 1980, stays level in 2000, then drops to 2 million. More precise comparisons and figures would strengthen an already relevant response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the declining sectors and the growing sectors. This gives the reader a broad route through the information. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the first detail paragraph, where manufacturing and agriculture are combined in a long, awkward sentence. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Similarly,” and “Secondly” help signal sequence, but some are used mechanically or do not clearly express the relationship between the data. The final sentence is also hard to interpret because “over the over to sectors” obscures the comparison. Use shorter, clearly focused sentences and connect each comparison explicitly to its subject.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “declined,” “gradually,” “continuously,” and “dominating,” and you attempt to describe trends rather than merely list figures. However, the range and control are limited by frequent spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural word choices, such as “filed,” “peaking up,” “in the leat,” and “acceleration.” Some phrases make the intended meaning difficult to recover, especially “both are dominating over the over to sectors.” Choose standard collocations for describing graphs, such as “rose to,” “remained stable,” and “fell to,” and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for ranking and comparison would also help distinguish the sectors’ positions at different dates.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “while” and “where,” and the overall meaning can usually be understood. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in articles, verb forms, agreement, and punctuation make several passages difficult to read. For example, “there was dominant of the Manufacturing sector” lacks a grammatical construction, while “manufacturing filed rose steadely to became 20 millions” contains problems with verb form and number. Sentence boundaries and spacing after commas are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate comparisons with a clear subject and verb—for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, while agriculture fell to 3 million”—before adding more complex clauses.

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