Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided graph illustrates information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020

overall, it can be seen that the highest number of jobs were held in retail and healthcare sector and least was in the agriculture

notably,in 1960 15 million of people had jobs in the manufacturing sector of the US , which was increased in the 1980 now reached at 20 million. moreover it reduced in 20000m and held at 17 million approximately furthermore this number decreased again in 2020 which was 14 million now. in addition, number of people who had jobs in retail sector was 7 million approximately in 1960, which was increased in 1980 to 10 million. moreover in2000 number people who had jobs in retailing was 15 million which was increased in 2020 again and leads to 16 million.

furthermore, 5 million people had jobs in agriculture sector in 1960,which was decreased in 1980 by 3 million approximately. moreover in 2000 3 million of people had jobs in agriculture sector in in 2020 number of people who had jobs in agriculture sector was 2 million . in addition, 3 million of people had jobs in healthcare in 1960 which was increased in 1980 by 2 million . moreover 11 million people had jobs in healthcare in 2000. furthermore in 2020 this number incresead gain and 16 million people had job in healthcare sector

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover all four sectors and report several key movements, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 before declining, retail rising, and agriculture falling. However, the overview is not fully accurate: saying retail and healthcare had the highest employment overlooks manufacturing’s peak of 20 million, and retail and healthcare only reach the joint highest level by 2020. Some figures are also misreported: agriculture began at about 6 million, not 5 million, and healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million. The account is largely a sequence of figures rather than a clear selection of the most important comparisons. A more precise overview and accurate starting values would make the main features clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall order: it introduces the graph, gives an overview, and then discusses the four sectors. This makes the information possible to follow. However, the body reads as a long sequence of details, with little grouping of related trends. Repeated connectors such as “moreover,” “furthermore,” and “in addition” make the progression mechanical, and some links are unclear—for example, “in 2000 3 million of people had jobs in agriculture sector in in 2020…” runs two time points together. Use separate paragraphs to group rising sectors and declining sectors, and connect comparisons directly rather than adding a connector to each new figure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing sector,” “retail sector,” “agriculture sector,” and “increased” or “decreased,” so the reader can generally identify the trends being described. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise. Phrases such as “number of people who had jobs” are repeated instead of using concise terms such as “employment” or “the number employed.” “Held at 17 million” is not a natural way to describe a figure, and “increased by 2 million” is ambiguous when you mean that healthcare employment reached 5 million. Improve precision by using verbs such as “rose to,” “fell to,” and “peaked at,” and check spelling, including “increased.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to link clauses with time references and relative clauses, but sentence structures are often faulty, and errors sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to follow. For example, “which was increased in the 1980 now reached at 20 million” has problems with tense, passive form, and clause construction. There are also missing articles and awkward number phrases in “in 1960 15 million of people had jobs,” while “in in 2020” shows insufficient punctuation and editing. Most sentences rely on similar patterns, so the range is limited. Practise accurate past-tense reporting with simple structures first, then combine ideas using controlled clauses—for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 17 million in 2000.”

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