Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The chart presents data about employment in four sectors that contribute in the economy of US from 1960 to 2020.

To begin with, In 1960, there are 15 million emplyees in manufacturing sector, 6 million in agriculture and retail sector and lastly 3 million jobs in healthcare. Furthermore, retail and healthcare gradually increases with the coming years, but agricultural jobs gradually decreases every year. In 1980, there are 20 million jobs in manufacturing sector after which they starts declining and remains 13 million in 2020. Whereas healthcare and retail reached 16 million in 2020 and become the highest employment sectors.

By reviewing these values, we come to know that priorities changes within time. Firstly, people focusing more on manufacturing but the trend changes as the time passes and other sectors which are suffering now have high emplyment rate.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main sectors and report several relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the rise of retail and healthcare by 2020. However, some data are inaccurate: healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million, and agriculture did not decline every year because it stayed around 3 million from 1980 to 2000. The overview is also partly interpretive (“priorities changes”) rather than a clear summary of the chart’s main trends. The response is 12 words below the required minimum, and this limits the detail available. Include a concise overview and compare the contrasting trajectories more accurately, especially the decline in manufacturing after 1980 and the growth of healthcare and retail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph describing figures and trends, and a concluding comment. This gives the information an overall coherent arrangement. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Whereas,” and “By reviewing these values” help signal relationships, although some transitions feel mechanical or do not introduce a clear comparison. The final paragraph repeats the idea that employment patterns changed without adding specific evidence. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, as in “other sectors which are suffering now,” which does not identify the sectors or explain what “suffering” means. Group the data by contrasting trends and use the conclusion to state the chart’s main overall pattern rather than repeat a general interpretation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “employment,” “manufacturing sector,” “gradually increases,” and “declining,” so the reader can follow the broad subject and trends. However, the range is limited and some choices are imprecise or unnatural. “Sectors that contribute in the economy” is an awkward collocation, while “priorities changes” and “sectors which are suffering now” do not accurately describe what the graph measures. There are also spelling errors in “emplyees” and “emplyment,” and “high employment rate” is not the clearest way to describe the number of jobs. Aim for precise chart language such as “employment rose,” “the number of jobs fell,” and “the two largest sectors,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “Whereas” and a time clause in “after which they starts declining.” The meaning is generally understandable, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “retail and healthcare gradually increases” should use a plural verb, and “they starts declining” has an incorrect verb form. The opening of the second paragraph also has inconsistent tense (“there are” when describing 1960), while “priorities changes” has a subject–verb agreement error. Capitalisation after “To begin with,” is also inconsistent. Use past tense consistently for the historical data and check each subject against its verb; this will make your varied sentence attempts more controlled.

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