Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph demonstrates the data about the amount of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sector in the US in 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020 in millions.

In the beginning of 1960, manufacturing sector provided the highest job opportunity which was 15 millions. it increased by 10 millions in 1980, after that it decreased till 2020. On the other hand, retail department has a continious growth from 1960 to 2020 and in 1960, it offered nearly 2.5 millions jobs which increased in 2020 and became around 16 millions. The agriculture sectors provided job opportunity is lower than other sectors. It offered around 6 million jobs in 1960 & it decreased by 2.5 millions in 2020. Healthcare is another one which increased with time. It job offer started from 2.5 millions which reached at nearly 16 millions in 2020.

In conclusion, there s a genuine and continious grouth in two sector, which are retail and healthcare. Agriculture department provide the lowest job opportunity than others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and report several important trends, including manufacturing’s early lead, the sustained rises in retail and healthcare, and agriculture’s decline. However, some figures are misread: manufacturing rises from 15 to 20 million by 1980, not by 10 million, while retail starts at about 6 million rather than 2.5 million. The overview also says retail and healthcare grew continuously, but healthcare’s rise is clear whereas retail’s increase is more gradual; the key comparison that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020 could be stated more precisely. To strengthen the response, select the main turning points and compare the sectors using accurate figures throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph describing the sectors, and a concluding overview. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand,” “after that,” and “In conclusion” help show relationships between ideas. The progression is generally understandable, although the main data paragraph moves from one sector to another without grouping related trends, and the conclusion repeats points already made rather than adding a concise overview. Some references, such as “which increased in 2020,” are not fully clear about what increased. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture, then retail with healthcare, would make comparisons easier to follow and cohesion less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “increased,” “decreased,” “highest,” and “lowest,” so the main trends can be understood. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for this task: “amount of jobs,” “job opportunity,” and “retail department” do not describe the data as accurately as “number of jobs,” “employment,” and “retail sector.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “continious” and “grouth,” and “genuine” is not an appropriate description of a trend. Aim for accurate, consistent terms for sectors and employment, and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, and the overall meaning is usually clear. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “Healthcare is another one which increased with time” is awkwardly formed, while “It job offer started” has an incorrect possessive and verb pattern. The sentence beginning “The agriculture sectors provided job opportunity is lower” combines structures in a way that makes the relationship unclear. Capitalisation after full stops is also inconsistent, as in “it increased.” Practise forming clear subject–verb sentences and use past-tense reporting consistently, for example, “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million to 16 million.”

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