Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph compares the economy of the jobs divided into four sectors in US between the period of 1960 to 2020. The manufacturing job leads in the ecomony while the agricultural jobs running on baseline.
Manufacturing jobs starts at 15 millions covers majority of jobs. However, in 1980 the manufacturing jobs was at peak touching the range of 20 millions jobs while after that it has gone downwards. It has fallen to the jobs between 10-15 millions.
Retail jobs started from around 6 millions kept rising from the very first after 1980 and 2000 it remained stable whereas in 2020 it rose a bit which is at peak now amongst all four job sectors.
Healthcare jobs was between 0-5 millions in 1960 after that it rose and kept rising, the graph represents a sudden rise in healthcare sector after 1980 while after that it has been increasing which is at the level of retail jobs.
The one common thing is the healthcare sector jobs and retails jobs meets at a point in 2020 that suggests that this two sectors are growing rapidly nowadays covering 15 millions of jobs in 2020.
About agricultural jobs it started from around 6 millions and kept falling after that till 1980 it has came to baseline and after 2000 the graph again started falling stopping on around 1-2 millions jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You cover all four sectors and identify several important trends: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, agriculture falls overall, and healthcare rises substantially. You also note that healthcare and retail reach similar levels by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail does not remain stable between 1980 and 2000; it rises from about 10 to 15 million. The claim that it is the highest sector in 2020 is also not supported, as retail and healthcare are level at about 16 million. Your overview is present but vague, and the opening description of manufacturing as leading does not reflect its position throughout the period. More precise comparisons and a clearer summary of the main changes would strengthen the report.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is divided into paragraphs by sector, which gives the information a basic, understandable structure. The sequence from manufacturing to retail, healthcare and agriculture is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “However” and “after that” help show change over time. However, progression is weakened by repeated, imprecise time links, especially “after that,” and some connections are unclear. For example, the retail sentence combines its rise, supposed stability and 2020 increase without clearly distinguishing the three dates. The final comparison between healthcare and retail repeats an earlier point. Organise the report around an overview followed by clearer comparisons, and use time markers and references more precisely to make the progression smoother.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peak,” “fallen,” “kept rising” and “baseline,” so the reader can generally understand the changes. There is some variety in how you describe increases and decreases. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph report: “the economy of the jobs,” “running on baseline,” and “meets at a point” do not express the intended ideas precisely. “Covering majority of jobs” is also an unclear description of the manufacturing figure. Spelling errors such as “ecomony” and “retails” further reduce accuracy. Aim for standard collocations such as “employment in manufacturing,” “fell to a low,” and “reached the same level,” and check spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while” and “after,” and the main trends are usually understandable. However, some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction remain. Examples include “Manufacturing jobs starts,” “the manufacturing jobs was,” and “this two sectors are growing,” where the subject and verb or demonstrative do not agree. The sentence beginning “Retail jobs started from around 6 millions kept rising” also needs clearer clause structure and punctuation. Use past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, check singular and plural agreement, and separate linked ideas with appropriate conjunctions or full stops. These corrections would make your comparisons more controlled.
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