Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this paragraph we can se easily about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of economy in the united states 2000 and 1960 .

There are some factors of the economy of US , [redacted phone].

First, we can discuss highest numbers of jobs which is manufacturing in 1980 it rises 15 to 20 from 1960 to 1980 than fall till 2020. Secondly, we can see clearly the lowest number of jobs are in agriculture .In 1960 jobs of agriculture rises at 5 to 6 millions and then fall below to 5 millions .It remains same till 2020 .There is no more high accuracy of agriculture.

Retail and Healthcare rising continuosly from 1980 to 2020 .In 1960 retail was 6 to 7 millions and in 1980 it will be 10 millions and it is the major frequency of 15 million in 2020 after that it will be develop day by day .

Healthcare also winning jobs from 1960 to 2020, it increases 3 millions to 15 millions overall .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant features, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and agriculture’s generally low figures, and you attempt to compare the sectors. However, the summary is only partially accurate and the main trends are not clearly or fully reported. Manufacturing rises from 15 million to 20 million, then falls to 13 million; your account mentions the fall but gives no endpoint. Agriculture declines from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than remaining unchanged through 2020. Retail and healthcare do not both rise continuously from 1980: retail increases from 10 to 15 and then 16 million, while healthcare rises from 5 to 11 and then 16 million. Include a concise overview of these contrasting patterns and report the key figures accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has some basic organisation: it begins with an introduction, discusses manufacturing and agriculture, and then turns to retail and healthcare. Sequencing words such as “First” and “Secondly” help signal the order. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the opening repeats the task without establishing an overview, and several ideas are joined in long, unclear sentences. For example, the agriculture discussion moves from its starting figure to an unclear claim that it “remains same till 2020.” The final paragraph also combines two sectors without clearly separating their trends. Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and key comparisons, and connect each figure directly to the sector and year it describes.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “millions,” and “increases,” so the reader can identify the subject of the report. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the description unclear or unnatural. Phrases such as “major frequency,” “winning jobs,” and “develop day by day” do not accurately describe changes in employment. “There is no more high accuracy of agriculture” is also difficult to interpret. Spelling errors such as “continuosly” add to the imprecision. Build a small set of accurate trend expressions—such as “reached a peak,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “rose steadily”—and use them with the correct sector and time period.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and some basic meaning is understandable, for example, “Healthcare also winning jobs from 1960 to 2020” conveys an overall increase despite its faulty construction. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries occur frequently. Examples include “which is manufacturing,” “it rises 15 to 20,” and “it will be 10 millions”; these need more accurate tense and structure when describing past data. Several sentences also lack a clear grammatical connection between clauses, as in “Retail and Healthcare rising continuosly.” Practise past-tense reporting and complete sentence patterns, such as “Retail employment rose from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980.” Check subject–verb agreement and use “million” after numbers.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.