Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the amount of jobs in four different industry of the economy of United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, two sectors showed a gradual increase whereas remaining showed a decline with slight changes in the intial time periods.

If I talk about the retail and healthcare industry their is only increment from 1960 to 2020 which started just above the 5 million and in between zero and 5 million respectively.They increased and stopped together just above the 15 million in 2020.

Whereas, in manufacturing sector it started at 15 million and agriculture at just above the 5 million. Their was an increase at first from 1960 to 1980 that it touched the 20 million, then their was a gradual decline and it fell below the 15 million category. Also, the agriculture sector faced a decline that it got stuck in between the zero and 5 million category and never rose again.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad patterns: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The figures you include for manufacturing and agriculture are generally consistent with the graph, and you make a useful comparison between the two growing sectors at the end. However, the overview is too general: manufacturing does not decline throughout, and the phrase “remaining showed a decline” obscures its rise to a peak in 1980. The retail and healthcare account also misses their different trajectories—retail rises steadily, while healthcare grows more sharply, especially after 1980. Develop these contrasts and report key values at intermediate years to make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to paragraphs about the rising sectors and the other two sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. Some links, however, are mechanical or unclear. “If I talk about” and “Whereas” do not create smooth transitions, and “Their” in “Their was an increase” is difficult to interpret because it could refer to more than one sector. The final paragraph also combines manufacturing and agriculture without clearly separating their contrasting patterns. Use direct topic sentences and clearer references, and organise the details so each paragraph follows a distinct trend or comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “gradual decline,” “increment,” and “sector,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you describe. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise for an academic report: “amount of jobs,” “industry,” “stopped together,” and “got stuck” do not describe the data appropriately. “Increment” is also less natural here than a standard trend verb such as “increased.” There is some repetition of basic terms such as “increase” and “decline,” and spelling errors such as “intial” reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range of verbs and nouns for describing changes, and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “Whereas” and a time clause beginning “from 1960 to 1980.” However, some grammatical errors make the relationships between ideas less clear. Examples include “their is only increment,” “Their was an increase,” and “that it touched the 20 million,” which show problems with agreement and clause construction. The opening also needs plural agreement and articles in “four different industry of the economy of United States.” Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly the missing space after “respectively.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, plural forms, and complete sentence structures while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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