Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provides information about the amount of jobs in four different sectors shuch as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare in economy of Us from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, health care and retail showed an incease in number of jobs while agricuture and manufacturing experanced a fall over period of time.

Healthcare experiances a dramatic rise from nearly zero to just over 15 which is where it intersected with retail. On the other hand Retail Had a head start from just above 5 and rose the number of jobs over the years though it was not a signinficant increase as agriculture but it eventuallly meet with health care.

Manufacturing shoed flactuation increasing from 15 to 20 and geting a suddenn fall to below 15. Agriculture experianced a slight fall between 1960 and 1980 where it was out performed by healthcare through out the years it become consistent from 1980 to 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrast: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing falls after an earlier peak. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing increasing from 15 to 20 million and healthcare reaching just over 15 million. However, some trends are not reported precisely. Manufacturing does not simply fall over the whole period; it peaks in 1980 and then declines. Agriculture is described as consistent from 1980 to 2020, although it falls from about 3 to 2 million. The overview also misses the key endpoint comparison: retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million, jointly the highest. More accurate comparisons and a clearer account of each sector’s stages would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two paragraphs describing the sectors. The contrast signalled by “Overall” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the main direction of the account. However, the grouping of details is not always clear: the retail sentence shifts to agriculture, and the final sentence combines agriculture’s decline with its later stability. Some connections are also imprecise, as in “it was out performed by healthcare,” where the reference and comparison are difficult to follow. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, rising sectors together and declining or fluctuating sectors together—and use pronouns only when their reference is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of task vocabulary, including “dramatic rise,” “fluctuation,” “consistent” and “intersected,” which helps describe changes and comparisons. However, several spelling errors—such as “shuch,” “incease,” “experanced” and “eventuallly”—are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Some word choices or collocations are also unsuitable: “amount of jobs” is less natural than “number of jobs,” and “a head start” is informal for an academic report. “Not a significant increase as agriculture” is unclear and does not express the intended comparison. Aim for precise, conventional trend language and check spelling carefully; this will make your descriptions more fluent and reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast clause beginning “while” and a relative clause in “which is where it intersected with retail.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “Healthcare experiances” uses an incorrect verb form, and “it was out performed by healthcare through out the years it become consistent” contains a faulty passive construction and an unclear run-on sequence. Capitalisation is inconsistent in “Retail Had,” and punctuation is missing between some connected ideas. Use past-tense forms consistently to describe the completed period, separate independent clauses with appropriate punctuation, and check articles and sentence boundaries.

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