Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This given graph is showing the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US. Manufacturing sector has the highest job rates among all the sectors. In 1960 it was offering 15 million jobs and after 20 years in 1980 there was an increased rate of jobs of 20 million. And after that there was decline in the job rates. While the retail jobs was growing with the passage of time from 5 million jobs to sharp 15 million Meanwhile at the same time healthcare sector was also going on towards growth in the job rates from 2 million to 15 million . Agriculture sector was losing job rates similar to the manufacture sector from 1960 to 1970 and then there was a pause from 1980 to 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million jobs in 1980 followed by decline, and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, the response only partially covers the graph: it gives no clear overall summary, omits the final manufacturing figure and the 2020 retail and healthcare figures, and describes agriculture’s later trend inaccurately. Agriculture fell from about 6 million to 3 million by 1980, remained near 3 million in 2000, then declined to about 2 million in 2020; it did not simply pause through 2020. The response also contains 122 words, below the required 150. Add a concise overview and select key comparisons across the full period, checking each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly chronological order and uses basic links such as “after that,” “while,” and “meanwhile,” so the reader can identify some comparisons. However, it is presented as one continuous paragraph, with no clear overview or separation of the main trends. Several ideas run together—for example, the retail and healthcare trends are joined in a long sentence—and the sequence of agriculture’s changes is difficult to follow. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically rather than to show precise relationships. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview, and one or two detail paragraphs. Use clear comparisons between sectors and connect each figure to the trend it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing sector,” “retail,” “healthcare,” “agriculture,” “decline,” and “growth,” which makes the subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph. “Job rates” is repeated, although the chart reports numbers of jobs, and “was offering” is less suitable than a neutral reporting verb. “Sharp 15 million” is also incomplete and does not clearly describe the increase. Aim for more precise collocations such as “employment,” “the number of jobs,” “rose to,” and “fell to.” This would make the comparisons clearer and reduce repetition while retaining the relevant sector vocabulary you already use.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt to combine ideas using clauses beginning with “while” and “after,” and the main trends are generally understandable. However, sentence structures are mostly simple or joined by repeated “and,” and some longer sentences are not controlled clearly. For example, “While the retail jobs was growing” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “Meanwhile at the same time healthcare sector…” lacks an article and repeats the linking idea. Punctuation is also inconsistent: several sentences run together, and the final agriculture statement has no full stop. Practise writing complete, clearly punctuated sentences with accurate articles and agreement, and vary the structures used to compare trends.

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