Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This graph shows the information about the number of jobs in four sectors which includes manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.Overall employment in manufacturing and healthcare incresed considerably throughout the period whereas agriculture experienced a continuoud decline. Whereas manufacturing reached its highest point in 1980 before falling gradually. In 1960 manufacturing increases with largesr employment with approximately 15 millions workers. In 1980 it increases to 20 millions workers. However the number decreased to almost 17 million in 2000 and in 2020 it fell further to approximately 12 million.

Retail employment showed a steady upward rising from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and massive increase of 15 million workers in 2000 and in 2020 it slightly increase to 16 million workers.

Healthcare experience growth from only 2 million workers in 1960 to 5 million workers in 1980 and then massive increase of 11 million in 2000 and great increase of 16 million workers in 2020

Agriculture face decrease from 6 million worker to 4 million worker in 1980 and it remains the same till 2000. In 2020 it faces slightly decrease to 3 million worker.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and report their broad patterns, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing did not increase throughout the period, and healthcare rose rather than manufacturing and healthcare both increasing continuously. Some figures also differ from the chart: agriculture is about 3 million in 1980 and 2000, then 2 million in 2020, not 4 million and then 3 million. The response gives useful detail, but the inaccurate overview and data reduce the precision of the summary. To strengthen it, state the main contrasts accurately and check each reported figure against the graph. (Nine words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a generally sensible order: it introduces the graph, gives an overview, and then describes manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture in separate sections. This makes the information reasonably easy to follow. However, the overview is joined awkwardly to the next point with “Whereas,” and several sentences rely on repeated “and then” or “in 2020” rather than showing relationships between trends. The paragraphing also separates each sector without drawing comparisons between them, such as healthcare catching up with retail by 2020. Use clearer topic sentences and a wider range of accurate linking phrases to create a more continuous progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “reached its highest point,” “falling gradually,” “steady upward rising” and “decline.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main movements, but the range is limited and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “massive increase of 15 million” suggests a change of 15 million rather than a total of 15 million, while “steady upward rising” is redundant. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “incresed,” “continuoud” and “largesr.” Aim for precise trend language and check spelling; distinguish a value (“reached 15 million”) from a change (“rose by 5 million”).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the reader can generally understand the trends. However, errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction. Examples include “Healthcare experience growth,” “Agriculture face decrease,” and “it slightly increase”; these should use past-tense forms such as “experienced,” “faced” and “increased.” The opening also runs directly into the overview without a space after the full stop, and “Whereas manufacturing reached…” is an incomplete dependent clause. Use consistent past tense for the historical data, check subject–verb agreement, and make sure each sentence has a complete main clause. More accurate control of these basics would make your varied sentences clearer.

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