Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the graph below show us the number of jobs in for sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 , in 1960 a sectors of agriculture was big and thy had a 6 milions jobs in it but with devlopment to the 2020 the secture of agriculture deminue to 2 miliones jobs only , for the secture of retail they really augmente from the 1960 with 6 milons jobs to 16 milions jobs in 2020 , for the secture of manufacturing he had an augmentation from 1960 with 15 milions jobs to 1980 with 20 milions jobs and had a demuition in 1980 to 2020 wit 14 milions jobs only , and for he sectors of healthcare they had a aumentation cuntinu from 1960 to 2020 with 2,5 milions job in 1960 and 5milions jobs in 1980 to 11 milions jobs in 2000 and 16 milions jobs in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify all four sectors and report several relevant figures, including agriculture falling from 6 to 2 million jobs and healthcare rising to 16 million. However, the response does not provide a clear overview of the main patterns—for example, that manufacturing peaked in 1980 and then declined, while retail and healthcare rose overall. Some details are inaccurate: agriculture is described as “big” in 1960, although it was tied with retail and well below manufacturing; healthcare began at 2 million, not 2.5 million; and manufacturing ended at about 13 million, rather than 14 million. The response also falls 9 words short of the 150-word minimum. Add a concise overview and check figures against the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response follows a generally understandable order, moving through agriculture, retail, manufacturing and healthcare, and the repeated “for the sector of” phrasing helps signal which data is being discussed. However, it is presented as one long sentence, with commas doing most of the work. This makes the progression difficult to follow and leaves no distinct introduction or overview. Some links, such as “but with development to the 2020,” do not clearly express the relationship between the time points. Organise the report into short paragraphs, use full stops to separate trends, and group related comparisons—for instance, the two rising sectors—so the reader can follow the main features more easily.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “jobs,” “sector,” “augmentation” and “deminue,” and the reader can usually identify the intended trends. However, the range is limited and several repeated or inaccurate word choices make the report less clear. Examples include “big” for a sector with many jobs, “aumentation” for an increase, and “demuition” for a decline; these forms are also misspelled. Phrases such as “a sectors of agriculture” and “they really augmente” are not natural collocations. Build a reliable set of trend verbs and practise their spelling and forms, such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked” and “remained stable.” This will make comparisons more precise and easier to understand.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response communicates the broad subject and several trends, but it relies heavily on one extended sentence joined by commas, so the range of sentence structures is limited. Frequent errors in agreement, articles and verb forms are visible in “the graph below show,” “a sectors,” and “they had a aumentation.” Time expressions and clauses are also awkwardly formed, as in “from the 1960 with 6 milons jobs to 16 milions jobs in 2020.” These errors sometimes make relationships between figures harder to follow. Use a clear present-tense introduction, then separate each trend into complete sentences with accurate past-tense verbs for the historical data. Check subject–verb agreement and article use when revising.
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