Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph illustrates that how the proportion of jobs in manufacturing, retail,agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the United State of America from 1960 to 2020

Overall, Retail and Healthcare showed upward trend whereas agriculrure remain stable. On the other hand, Manufacturing

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the chart’s subject and begins an overview by noting that retail and healthcare increased. However, it does not provide the required summary of the main features: there are no figures or comparisons, and the manufacturing trend is left unfinished after “On the other hand, Manufacturing”. The claim that agriculture “remain stable” is also inaccurate, as employment fell from about 6 million to 2 million, despite a period of little change. The response contains only 44 words, well below the required 150, so the task is addressed only minimally. To improve, complete the overview and report key changes and endpoint comparisons for all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence introduces the graph, followed by an overview signalled by “Overall” and “On the other hand”. These markers show an awareness of how to group information. However, the response stops mid-thought, and the contrast introduced by “On the other hand” has no completed point. There is no developed sequence of details or paragraphing to guide the reader through the data. Build a clear structure with an introduction, an overview, and one or two paragraphs comparing the sector trends; use linking phrases only where they connect complete ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses relevant topic vocabulary, including “line graph”, “proportion”, “manufacturing”, “retail”, “agriculture” and “healthcare”, so the subject is recognisable. However, the range is very limited, and some word choices do not accurately describe the chart: it shows the number of jobs, not the “proportion” of jobs. There are also spelling errors in “agriculrure” and “United State”, and the phrase “showed upward trend” needs a more natural form. Expand your vocabulary for describing change and comparison, such as “rose steadily”, “declined”, “peaked” and “remained unchanged”, and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a complex opening clause and uses a simple overview sentence, but grammatical control is uneven. In “illustrates that how the proportion…”, the clause structure is faulty: use either “illustrates how…” or “shows that…”. The phrase “from 1960 to 2020” is not attached to a complete, well-formed sentence, and “agriculture remain stable” has a subject–verb agreement error. The final sentence is incomplete, ending after “Manufacturing”. These problems make the short response less clear. Practise accurate sentence patterns for introducing a chart and describing trends, then proofread for agreement, articles and complete sentences.

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