Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the information relating to the number of jobs in four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) of the economy in the US during 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing remained at the highest point while agriculture hit the lowest point. Other two sectors, retail and health care climbed continuous.

In 1960, the number of jobs stood at 15 million in terms of the manufacturing unit, showing the highest value while the agriculture department represented the lowest number of jobs, nearly 2 million. There was a sharp increase in the manufacturing sector, reaching at the peak of 20 million. After that, it experienced a decline throughout the period, standing at 16 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. In contrast, the agriculture department went down to 4 million in 1980, remained unchanged till 2000. There was a slight fall down in 2020, showing 2 million.

On the other hand, other two sectors (healthcare and retail) illustrated a significant increase over the period. In 1960, only 2 million number of jobs was available for the healthcare sector but in coming years like 1980, 2010 and 2020, there was a significant rise in the number of jobs, reaching at 5 million, 11 million, and 16 million, respectively. A sharp increase was seen in term of the retail sector, it stood at 6 million in 1960. Then it went up to 10 million, 15 million, and 16 million in 1980, 2000, and 2020 respectively. Both ended up the period at same value.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main contrast between manufacturing and agriculture and describe the broad rise in retail and healthcare, so the response covers the key trends. The overview is useful, but “manufacturing remained at the highest point” is too broad: it peaked in 1980, then retail and healthcare both reached 16 million by 2020, above manufacturing at 13 million. Some figures also need closer accuracy: agriculture was about 6 million in 1960 and 3 million in 1980, not 2 and 4 million; manufacturing was about 17 million in 2000, not 16. The healthcare reference to 2010 should be 2000. Correcting these details and making the final ranking explicit would strengthen an otherwise relevant summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear four-part structure: introduction, overview, and two detail paragraphs grouping the declining sectors and the growing sectors. This gives the reader a logical route through the information, and transitions such as “In contrast” and “On the other hand” help signal comparisons. The progression within each paragraph is generally chronological. Some linking is less effective where the wording creates an unclear relationship, such as “Other two sectors … climbed continuous,” and the long healthcare sentence combines several years and figures in a way that is harder to follow. Use more precise references and divide dense comparisons into shorter sentences to make cohesion smoother and less dependent on repeated contrast markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “sharp increase,” “decline,” “remained unchanged,” and “significant rise,” which allows you to describe the main movements. However, some choices are imprecise or unnatural for a data report: “manufacturing unit” and “agriculture department” do not name the sectors naturally, while “hit the lowest point” is less precise than describing the lowest employment figure. There is also repetition of “significant increase” and “number of jobs,” and “climbed continuous” shows inaccurate word form. Aim for concise, conventional collocations such as “employment in manufacturing,” “the agricultural sector,” and “rose steadily.” This would make the vocabulary more precise while retaining your clear meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including comparisons introduced by “while” and “but,” and most of the information remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, however. For example, “Other two sectors … climbed continuous” needs an article and an adverb (“The other two sectors climbed continuously”), and “reaching at the peak” uses an incorrect preposition. In “only 2 million number of jobs was available,” the noun phrase and agreement are not controlled; “only 2 million jobs were available” is clearer. The sentence beginning “A sharp increase was seen in term of the retail sector, it stood…” also joins two independent clauses with a comma. Review articles, agreement, prepositions, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to use varied sentence forms.

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