Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the given below graph illustrate that the number of jobs in the us between the 1960 to 2020 century it illustrate that how job markets moving in different sectors it has four sector to be disscussed in this graph that given below manufacturing , Retail , Agriculture , Healthcare.

number of these jobs are increesing and decreasing day by day in 1960 to 2020 century manufacturing produced alot of jb oppurtunity in 1960 andthree other others alsp contributing in the job market but also passing years job market priority changes and in 2000 heathcare is increasing about 2.5 million to 12.5 million in just 40 years and Retail also contribute in the job market alot to compare with manufacturing today retail is contribute more than manufacturing and a major problem facing in 2000 era is shortage of food and agriculture agriculture are devalued and decreasing very fast it will be amajor problem in 2030

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and report several relevant broad trends: manufacturing is described as initially prominent, healthcare and retail rise, and agriculture declines. However, the account only partially summarises the graph and includes unsupported claims, especially that agriculture’s decline will cause a food shortage in 2030; the chart ends in 2020 and gives no evidence about food supply. Some figures are inaccurate: healthcare rises from about 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, not from 2.5 to 12.5 million “in just 40 years.” The overview is also unclear, and key comparisons are incomplete. Focus on the main turning points and end-of-period rankings, using accurate approximate figures and avoiding predictions beyond the data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response contains a basic opening followed by discussion of trends, and it attempts to compare sectors, for example by saying retail contributes more than manufacturing today. However, ideas are not arranged in a clear progression: the first paragraph repeats the task, while the second moves between manufacturing, healthcare, retail and agriculture without a consistent structure. Linking phrases such as “but also passing years” and “and a major problem” do not clearly show how the points relate. The long second paragraph also makes the comparisons difficult to follow. Organise the report into a concise introduction, an overview, and one or two paragraphs grouping related trends, such as rising sectors and declining sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “job market,” “sectors,” “manufacturing,” and “agriculture,” and you attempt to describe change with “increasing,” “decreasing,” and “devalued.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “produced a lot of job opportunity,” “contribute in the job market,” and “agriculture are devalued.” Spelling errors—including “disscussed,” “increesing,” and “oppurtunity”—are frequent enough to distract the reader. Aim for precise chart language and check spelling carefully. For example, use “employment rose” or “the number of jobs declined” rather than broad or awkward phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to combine ideas in longer sentences, but control is inconsistent, and sentence boundaries are often unclear. The opening, “the given below graph illustrate that the number of jobs,” has errors in article use, word order and subject–verb agreement. Other examples include “Retail is contribute more” and “agriculture are devalued,” where verb forms and agreement are faulty. Tense and sentence construction also make the final prediction difficult to interpret. Use mostly clear, complete sentences with a consistent past tense for the historical data, and check agreement and verb forms. Breaking the long second paragraph into shorter sentences would also help you control punctuation and grammar.

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