Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The garph illustrates different jobs in four economic sectors in the united from year 1960 to 2020, These four sectors are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare and graph shows number of jobs in millions. Lowest numbers of jobs were in healthcare below 5 millions in first year but number of jobs increased gradualy through out the years eventually competing with highest numbers of jobs in the last year competing with retail, which had started with 5 million in 1960. Another sector which had 5 million jobs in 1960 is agriculture but unlike retail jobs i this sector decreased over the years falling below 5 million in 2020 even below that of healthcare in 1960. Highest number of jobs in 1960 were in manufacturing at 15 million jobs, number of jobs in this sector peaked in the year 1980 hitting at 20 million jobs; the most number of jobs any sector in any year while in 2020 this sector stood at above 10 million jobs

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and report several important trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 followed by decline, and agriculture’s overall fall. However, the summary is incomplete and some comparisons are inaccurate or unclear. Retail began at about 6 million, not 5 million, and rose to 16 million; healthcare also reached about 16 million by 2020, but this key endpoint is only described as “competing” with retail. The overview would be clearer if it explicitly stated that retail and healthcare ended as the joint-highest sectors, while agriculture was lowest. Include the main figures for these rising sectors and make the comparisons more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response contains relevant information and moves broadly from the lower-employment sectors to manufacturing, so there is some organisation. However, it is presented as one long paragraph with no clear overview separated from supporting details, and the progression between comparisons is difficult to follow. Several ideas are joined into lengthy sentences, especially the discussion of healthcare, retail and agriculture, making relationships between trends less clear. Linking phrases such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile” could help distinguish the sectors, while a short overview followed by two focused detail paragraphs would create a clearer progression. Some repetition of “jobs” and “number of jobs” also makes the cohesion feel mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant sector vocabulary, including “Manufacturing,” “Retail,” “Agriculture” and “Healthcare,” and terms such as “peaked” and “increased” help describe trends. However, the range is limited and several word-choice or spelling problems reduce precision: “competing with highest numbers” is awkward, “hitting at 20 million” is not a natural collocation, and “garph,” “gradualy” and “through out” are misspelled. “United” is also incomplete as a reference to the United States. Aim for accurate, conventional chart language such as “rose to,” “declined to,” and “ended at,” and use “employment” or “the number of jobs” selectively to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt some complex sentences, for example by contrasting agriculture with retail and describing manufacturing’s peak and later decline. However, long sentences are often poorly controlled, and punctuation makes the relationships between clauses unclear. The opening has a comma splice between “2020” and “These four sectors,” while the final sentence beginning “Highest number of jobs…” lacks an article and has an unclear clause structure. There are also errors in number and agreement, such as “5 millions,” and missing or incorrect grammatical forms in phrases like “number of jobs increased gradualy.” Use shorter, complete sentences and check articles, plural forms, verb forms and sentence boundaries.

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