Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph given shows information about the number of jobs across four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, there was an increase in the number of jobs in the retail and healthcare sector across the years been considered in the graph while for the manufacturing and agricultural sector there was a high number of jobs initally then it dropped subsequently.

For the retail and healthcare sector, there was a steady rise in the number of jobs healthcare sectors while for the retail sector, it kept rise till the year 2000 where it slightly plateaued and didn't have a marked and well defined rise in number of jobs. Then at 2020 both sectors were at par.

Looking at the manufaturing and agricultural sectors, these two took a different turn. For the manufaturing sector, about 15 million jobs were available initial and it rised to about 20million in 1980 and there after it started to nose dive, while for the agricultural sector there was a marked deep in the number of jobs and it kept on reduce even till 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You provide a relevant overview, identifying the broad rise in retail and healthcare employment and the decline in agriculture, and you include useful figures such as manufacturing’s increase from about 15 million to 20 million by 1980. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing did not begin with a generally high level and then simply fall: it peaked in 1980, then declined to about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Retail continued to rise slightly after 2000, reaching about 16 million, rather than plateauing; healthcare also reached about 16 million, so the two were level in 2020. Develop these comparisons more precisely and report the agricultural figures more clearly to make the account more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining sectors. This makes the main comparisons easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “For the retail and healthcare sector,” and “Looking at” help signal the progression. However, some connections are awkward or unclear, particularly the long sentence about retail and healthcare, where the shift from one sector to the other makes the comparison difficult to track. The final paragraph also combines several stages of manufacturing’s trend without clearly separating them. Use shorter, more focused comparisons and refer to each sector consistently so that cohesion feels less mechanical and the sequence of changes is clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “steady rise,” “plateaued,” “nose dive,” and “marked” decline. These attempts help convey changes over time, although some choices are imprecise or too informal for an academic report. “Nose dive” is conversational, while “didn’t have a marked and well defined rise” is wordy and does not accurately describe retail’s continued increase. There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “manufaturing,” “initally,” and “deep” where “dip” is intended. Aim for precise, neutral trend language and check spelling carefully. For example, “declined sharply” is more suitable than “nose dive,” and “fell considerably” can describe agriculture’s overall movement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “while” and “where,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some grammatical errors remain and occasionally make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “across the years been considered,” which needs a grammatical construction such as “over the years considered,” and “it rised,” where the past form should be “it rose.” In “it kept rise,” the verb pattern is incorrect; use “continued to rise.” Agreement is also inconsistent in “the retail and healthcare sector” when referring to two sectors. Review verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction, and break up long sentences when they contain several comparisons.

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