Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph gives data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 .

It is obvious that manufacturing if the most crucial sector among the four sectors , due to its large number of jobs .

In 1960 ,manufacturing's jobs outnumbered the other sectors while both agriculture and retail sectors had the same number of jobs ( about 6 millions jobs) , on the other hand , healthcare sector has the least number of jobs . After the middle of 60's , manufacturing jobs increased to reach the peak at 20 million jobs in 1980 to decrease after that until it reashed its lowes point at 13 million jobs in 2020 , while agriculture's number of jobs decreased in the period between 1960 and 1980 , then it reamined the same to decreased slightly again after the 20's . For retail and health care sectors the number of job kept increasing simultainly until it converged in 2020 at 15 millions .

in summary , the graph showes us that manufacturing's job's number increased before 1980 to decrease after that period , while both retail and healthcrae sectors increased their job's number through the whole period (1960 to 2020) .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main sectors and describe several broad trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and agriculture declining overall. However, some key comparisons are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing is not the most prominent sector throughout the period: by 2020, retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs, compared with 13 million in manufacturing. The statement that retail and healthcare “converged in 2020 at 15 millions” is also imprecise; both finish at approximately 16 million. Your overview repeats the general rises and falls but does not clearly summarise the changing ranking of sectors. To strengthen the response, report the endpoint comparison accurately and distinguish the steady growth in retail and healthcare from manufacturing’s rise and subsequent decline.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable sequence: an introduction, descriptions of the sectors, and a concluding summary. This gives the reader a basic sense of organisation. However, the main body places several trends in one long sentence, joined by repeated “while,” “after that,” and “then,” so the relationships between details become difficult to follow. The final paragraph largely repeats earlier information rather than adding a concise overview. Paragraphing is present, but the progression would be clearer if you grouped manufacturing and agriculture separately from the two growing sectors, and used shorter sentences to compare their patterns. Check also that transitions express the intended relationship precisely, rather than relying on a chain of clauses.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “increased,” “decreased,” “peak,” and “converged,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to report. However, the range is limited and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “most crucial sector” for the sector with the most jobs and “number of job kept increasing.” Spelling errors, including “simultainly,” “reamined,” and “healthcrae,” also reduce clarity and control. Aim for precise, conventional chart language and check spelling carefully. For example, describe a sector as having the highest employment, say that figures “rose steadily” or “declined,” and use “finished at the same level” when comparing endpoints.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentences to compare trends, but these are often difficult to control, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “manufacturing jobs increased to reach the peak … to decrease after that” combines stages without a clear grammatical link, while “the graph showes us” has subject–verb agreement and verb-form problems. There are also inconsistent tenses, missing or misplaced articles, and punctuation spacing issues. The response relies heavily on long sentences joined by commas, which creates run-ons. Use a mix of shorter, complete sentences and carefully formed clauses; check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and keep past-tense reporting consistent.

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