Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates some data about the quantity of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare sectors of the economy of 60 years,from 1960 to 2020 in United States.

Overall, the retail and health care sectors jobs were in the upward attitude, another two sectors,manufacturing and agricultutral sectors jobs were in a downward trend from the initial stage.In addition, the another two sectors jobs were matched in the 2020.

The healthcare and retail sectors jobs were in a different stage in begining, almost 2 and 6 millions, by 1960 ,whereas by 2020, the jobs were same at almost 16 millions. In another two years in 1980 and 2000, the retails job sector was top of the healthcare job sector.

By 1960, agricultural sectors job were in 5 millions, as same as retail sectors,but after the time it declined and almost reached to 2 millions job in 2020. The manufacturing job sector was in the topmost position for 15 millions jobs,and sharply increased to 20 millions jobs,after 20 years. While the the retail and healthcare sectors job in highest position, in 2020,the manufacturing jobs sector in the 2nd position with almost 13 millions jobs in the economy of US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. You also report the key endpoint comparison that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs in 2020. These are relevant features and give the response a clear overview. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture is about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million, and manufacturing falls from about 20 million in 1980 to 13 million in 2020 rather than simply being described as declining from the initial stage. The claim that retail was above healthcare in both 1980 and 2000 is correct, but the comparisons could be more systematically supported with figures. A more precise overview and accurate selection of key stages would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing sector details. This gives the information an overall coherent arrangement, and the final paragraph usefully contrasts manufacturing with the sectors that lead in 2020. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. For example, “In another two years in 1980 and 2000” is an awkward transition, and “the another two sectors jobs were matched” does not make the comparison clear. Linking words such as “whereas,” “after,” and “while” are attempted, but some connections are mechanically or inaccurately formed. Use clearer topic sentences and organise the body by related trends, while making each comparison explicit; this would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “upward,” “downward trend,” “declined,” “increased,” and “position,” so the reader can generally understand the trends being described. There is also some effort to vary expressions rather than repeat only “jobs.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “upward attitude,” “different stage in begining,” “topmost position,” and “the retail and health care sectors jobs.” Spelling errors such as “agricultutral” and “begining” also reduce accuracy. Aim for standard graph-reporting phrases such as “rose steadily,” “started at,” and “had the highest number of jobs.” More accurate collocations and consistent spelling would make your vocabulary more precise and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including comparisons with “whereas” and a time clause beginning “after the time.” The main trends are usually understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “the retail and health care sectors jobs were in the upward attitude” has problems with sentence construction and agreement, while “the another two sectors jobs were matched” is not grammatically clear. Articles, plurals, and punctuation also need attention, as in “in begining, almost 2 and 6 millions” and the inconsistent spacing around commas. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns, for example, “The number of jobs in retail and healthcare rose,” and check articles and plural forms. Greater control of these structures would make your comparisons clearer.

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