Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The garph illustrat about jobs in the four sectors of economy in US between 1960 and 2020 .

Manufacturing jobs in 1960 was all of the above about 15million while Retail jobs were about only 5 million the peak jobs of manufacturing were in 1980 about 20 milion and Retail jobs were rised up to 10million and manufacturing than drop in 2000 while Retail further rised up and reaced to 15million .Manufacturing jobs totally droped down to10.8 millon 2020 on the other hand Retail jobs were on its peak about 15.1 millon .

Agriculture and Healthcare jobs in 1960 were at different level health care jobs were 4 million while agricultural jobs were high they were about 5.1million than droped in 1980 to 3 million while healthcare jobs were rised to 5 million in 2000 agricultural jobs were also 3 million no change occur but healthcare jobs were more high they were about 10.1 million .Agricultural jobs in 2020 were totally droped to 2 million while Healthcare jobs toally rised to to 15.1 million .

In conclusion from 1960 to 2020 Agriculture jobs and Manufacturing jobs are dropped while Healthcare and Retail jobs are rised up .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. Several comparisons are supported with approximate figures, such as manufacturing reaching about 20 million in 1980 and retail reaching about 15 million in 2000. However, some figures are inaccurate: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 4 million, and manufacturing ends at about 13 million rather than 10.8 million. The final retail and healthcare figures are also closer to 16 million than 15.1 million. Your overview is present, but it would be stronger if it highlighted the changing leaders: manufacturing is highest initially and in 1980, while retail and healthcare finish jointly highest.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it first discusses manufacturing and retail, then agriculture and healthcare, and ends with a summary of the long-term trends. This grouping helps the reader follow the four series. You also use basic linking expressions such as “while,” “on the other hand,” and “in conclusion.” However, some sentences are very long and combine several years and trends, making comparisons harder to track. The repeated use of “while” and “than” also makes connections feel mechanical, and the opening does not clearly introduce an overview. Use separate sentences for key time points and organise each paragraph around a clear comparison to make progression more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peak,” “drop,” “rised up,” and “no change occur,” so the main movements can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate or repetitive, including “jobs were rised,” “more high,” and “totally droped.” Spelling errors such as “garph,” “milion,” and “reaced” also reduce precision and can make the reader pause. Aim for a small set of accurate, varied trend verbs and standard collocations, such as “increased,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “reached a peak.” Check spelling and avoid using “totally” where a neutral description of a change is more appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences and use both simple statements and clauses with “while” and “on the other hand.” Nevertheless, errors in sentence structure and basic grammar are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “Manufacturing jobs in 1960 was” has subject–verb disagreement, while “Agricultural jobs in 2020 were totally droped to 2 million” uses an incorrect verb construction. Some sentences also lack clear boundaries, particularly the long sequence beginning “the peak jobs of manufacturing were in 1980.” Practise accurate past-tense forms and agreement, and divide multi-year descriptions into shorter sentences. More reliable control of these patterns would make your comparisons easier to understand.

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