Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph shows the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the Us from 1960 to till 2020.

Overall, it is clear that they were significant difference in the main feature shown in the given information with some aspects and being more prominent than the others.

First, manufacturing 1960 they contain almost 15% jobs and 1980 they contain 20% and then in 2000, the jobs in economy side decrease and they contain almost 16% jobs. Last in 2020, they approach at 9% jobs. Second contain retail, In 1960 they starting at 6% jobs and last they approach at 16%.

Third

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the graph’s subject and report some relevant manufacturing and retail figures, so the response is connected to the task. However, the overview is too vague to summarise the main trends: “significant difference” does not explain which sectors rose or fell, and the response stops before covering agriculture and healthcare. Some figures are also inaccurate: manufacturing is about 13 million in 2020, not 9, and the chart measures jobs in millions, not percentages. The response contains 91 words, below the required 150; the 15 words copied from the prompt are excluded from that count. To develop the report, include a clear overview and compare all four sectors using accurate units and key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the report: an opening sentence is followed by an overview paragraph and a paragraph beginning with “First”. The sequence of manufacturing figures is also presented in chronological order. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview is unclear, “Second contain retail” is an abrupt transition, and “Third” is left unfinished. The paragraphing does not create a complete account of the graph, and the linking words “First” and “Second” feel mechanical rather than showing meaningful comparisons. Use separate, complete paragraphs for the overview and grouped details, and connect sectors by their trends—for example, contrasting rising healthcare and retail employment with declining agriculture.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing”, “retail”, “jobs” and “decrease”, and the reader can recognise which sectors are being discussed. However, the range is limited and several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “they contain” jobs, “economy side decrease” and “approach at 9% jobs”. “Significant difference in the main feature” is also too vague to describe the graph’s trends. In addition, “Us” should be written as “US”, and “jobs” are measured in millions rather than percentages. Choose standard chart-reporting expressions such as “the number of jobs stood at” and “rose to”, and use precise trend vocabulary to distinguish increases, declines and stability.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to report changes over time and use some simple sequencing, but sentence structures are mostly basic and several are incomplete or difficult to interpret. For example, “First, manufacturing 1960 they contain…” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “Third” is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. There are also problems with articles, agreement and verb forms in “they were significant difference” and “they starting at 6%”. The opening phrase “from 1960 to till 2020” combines two incompatible ways of expressing an endpoint. Practise complete subject–verb sentences, such as “Manufacturing employment stood at 15 million in 1960 and peaked at 20 million in 1980.” Vary sentence patterns while checking tense and agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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