Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrate the number of paid employements in million in 4 different departments in economic system of United States between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the manfacturing started as a highest but later on 2020 became the 3rd most job producing department while healthcare began its journey from the lowest and reached the same position of retail. In contrast, agriculture declined throughout the period.
Manfacturing gained a dramatic increase from 15 million to 20 million in 10 years and reached its highest in 1980 than gradually declined and stated at just below 15 million at the end of 2020. Furthermore, agriculture faced a constant decrase from 1960 to 2020 that initially was at 6 million and decreased to 2 million considered the lowest one among all other sectors.
Moving towords the healthcare and retail, retail initiate from the just above the 5 million and healthcare began its journey from 1960 standing at the
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify several important patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, agriculture falls over the period, and healthcare rises to match retail by 2020. The figures you do report are broadly consistent with the graph. However, the account is only partly complete: the final paragraph breaks off at “healthcare began its journey from 1960 standing at the”, so the substantial growth in both healthcare and retail is not described. The overview also says manufacturing became the “3rd most” sector, but does not clearly compare the final figures or explain that healthcare and retail both finish at about 16 million, above manufacturing. Include a complete account of the main trends and a clear end-point comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs grouping the sectors. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “Furthermore” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is weakened by the unfinished final sentence, which leaves the retail and healthcare discussion incomplete. Some connections are also awkward or unclear: “Moving towords the healthcare and retail” does not smoothly introduce the comparison, and the overview’s “reached the same position of retail” is imprecise. Organise the details so each paragraph develops a complete comparison, and use clear references to the years and sectors rather than relying on broad transitions.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “reached its highest,” and “constant decrease,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors and movements being discussed. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “employements,” “manfacturing,” “decrase,” and “initiate.” Phrases including “job producing department” and “began its journey” are also unnatural for a formal chart summary. Prefer standard terms such as “sector,” “number of jobs,” “rose,” and “fell,” and check spelling carefully. More precise language for comparisons and endpoints would make the report clearer and more appropriately academic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast in “Overall” and a sequence describing manufacturing’s rise and fall. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “The line graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern. The sentence beginning “Manfacturing gained…” also combines several events without consistently controlled tense or structure. The final sentence is incomplete, ending after “standing at the”. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms, and complete sentence construction; then proofread each sentence to ensure it has a clear ending.
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