Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The following line graph illustrates the information about the figure of employments in four departments of the economy including manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare sectors in the America between 1960 and 2020.

Overall,number of jobs in retail increased while in agriculture figure of employment were decreased.The quantity of occupation in manufacturing decline while in healthcare rose.

Generally,we clearly seen that in 1960 the figure of employment in manufacturing sector at the 15 miilions but after some time in 1980 number of jobs increased and reached at 20 millions but after this work decline gradually and almsot stood at 13 millions,while employments in retail rose steadily.It starts from round 6 millions and approximately reached at 16 miilions of jobs in 2020 year.

Moreover,in 1960 work in agriculture was at the highest peak with the number of almost 6 millions but jobs in this department steadily decreased and reached at approximately at 2 millions in year of 2020.Employments in health climbed sharply and in year 2020 reached at 16 millions almost.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall movements: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture and manufacturing decline over the period. The manufacturing peak of 20 million in 1980 and its later fall to about 13 million are reported accurately, as are retail’s rise from around 6 to 16 million and agriculture’s decline to about 2 million. This gives the response a relevant overview and supports it with key figures. However, the overview could make the most important comparison clearer: by 2020, healthcare and retail were joint-highest at about 16 million, while agriculture was lowest. Healthcare’s intermediate rise, especially to around 11 million in 2000, is also not developed. The description addresses the task, but some features are covered more fully than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. The sequence from 1960 to 2020 is generally easy to follow, and comparisons such as manufacturing’s rise and subsequent decline are connected within a sentence. However, the overview largely repeats the introduction’s trend information, and the final paragraph groups agriculture and healthcare without developing a clear comparison between them. Linking is sometimes mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “but” and “while,” and punctuation spacing makes some transitions less clear. To strengthen progression, organise the details into more deliberate comparisons—for example, the two sectors that grew substantially versus those that declined—and use a wider range of clear linking expressions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “decline,” “rose steadily,” “decreased,” and “climbed sharply,” so the main information remains understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated and sometimes unnatural expressions such as “figure of employment,” “quantity of occupation,” and “work in agriculture.” These are not the usual collocations for describing a graph and can make the account less precise. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “miilions” and “almsot,” and “departments” is an imprecise label for economic sectors. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in the sector,” and “stood at,” while checking spelling and avoiding unnecessary synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, using forms such as “while” and “but” to compare trends. The main meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical control are noticeable. For example, “Overall,number of jobs” is missing an article, and “in agriculture figure of employment were decreased” has problems with word order and verb form. In “we clearly seen,” the verb form is incorrect, while “the figure … at the 15” lacks a suitable verb construction. Several long sentences also run together without clear punctuation. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete clause structures, and use full stops to separate comparisons; this will make your range of sentence forms clearer and more controlled.

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