Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates information about the number of various jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US years between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, At the begining the manufacturing department shows highest number of jobs in US economy but after some time it falls whereas healthcare department at the start has lower number of jobs but its number rises after few years.

In manufacturing department the number of jobs were higher than others till 1980 after this number decrease while agriculture department has above 5 millions jobs in 1960 and its number start decreasing and in the 2020 its job number was 1million.

In start retail department had 6 millions jobs in 1960 and it start rising to 15 millions till 2020 and healthcare department has lowest number of jobs in US economy but after 1980 this deparment start rising and in 2020 its account was 15 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between manufacturing’s early lead and healthcare’s later growth, and you include all four sectors. However, the overview is incomplete: it does not clearly state that retail also rose steadily and that agriculture declined to become the smallest sector. Some details are inaccurate or imprecise. Manufacturing peaked at about 20 million in 1980, then fell to 13 million by 2020; agriculture was about 6 million in 1960, not above 5 as a useful comparison, and ended at about 2 million rather than 1 million. Retail reached about 16 million in 2020, not 15, while healthcare also finished at about 16 million. Select the main trends and compare the final figures more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, overview and two detail paragraphs, and it generally moves from the overall picture to sector-specific information. This gives the reader some organisation. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is not always clear: the second paragraph shifts from manufacturing to agriculture, while the final paragraph combines retail and healthcare in one long sentence. Linking phrases such as “after this” and “in start” are repetitive or unclear, and references such as “its number” can make it difficult to tell which sector is meant. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clearer transitions and references, would make the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “number of jobs,” “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” and “rising,” so the main subject is usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “manufacturing department,” “its account was 15 million jobs,” and “in start.” Repetition of “number,” “jobs,” and “department” also limits flexibility. There are spelling errors in “begining” and “deparment,” and “millions jobs” is not a natural collocation. Use standard sector terminology and precise trend language to describe changes and comparisons more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example by using “but” and “whereas,” and the reader can generally understand the intended trends. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “the number of jobs were higher,” “it start rising,” and “after 1980 this deparment start rising”; these need consistent past-tense forms and clearer sentence boundaries. Capitalisation is also inconsistent in “Overall, At the begining,” and several clauses run together without adequate punctuation. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build comparisons in shorter, controlled sentences before combining them.

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