Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides information about the amount of jobs in the US from the year 1960 to 2020 of the four sectors of their economy.

Overall, eventhough the sector manufacturing has the highest number of jobs in the initial years, later had to witness a drop. In contrast, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors went up comparing to the starting years.

According to the graph, manufacturing witnessed the highest number of jobs overall from the year 1960 to 2000, specifically in 1980,the number of jobs went up to 20 million. But later slightly declined in the year 2020.On the other hand, Retail and Healthcare sectors faced a increase in the coming years and its went upto more than 15 million in the year 2020. In contrast, Agriculture slightly dropped in the number of jobs comparing to its initial years,levelled off till 2000 and slightly reducedin the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The peak of 20 million in 1980 and the later increase in retail and healthcare are relevant details. However, the overview is not fully precise: manufacturing is highest only through 2000, while by 2020 retail and healthcare are joint leaders at about 16 million. The phrase “more than 15 million” groups those sectors together without making their final position clear, and the account gives little detail about the distinct paths of retail and healthcare. Agriculture is described generally, but its fall from about 6 million to 2 million could be reported more clearly. Select and compare these key endpoints to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to supporting details. Paragraphing helps distinguish the summary from the data description, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “On the other hand,” and “In contrast” show an attempt to connect comparisons. However, some links are mechanical or do not clearly signal the relationship: “In contrast” introduces agriculture after a discussion of rising sectors, but the comparison could be stated more directly. The final paragraph also places several trends in one long sequence, making the retail, healthcare, and agriculture details less easy to follow. Organise the body by contrasting rising sectors with declining ones, and use clearer references to each sector.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “witnessed,” “declined,” “levelled off,” and “initial years,” so the main trends are generally understandable. Some choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “amount of jobs” is less suitable than “number of jobs,” and “faced a increase” and “its went upto” weaken fluency. There are also spelling and spacing issues, including “eventhough,” “upto,” and “reducedin.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, but they limit accuracy and polish. Prefer standard collocations such as “employment in the sector rose” and check compound words and spacing during proofreading.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including the concessive opening “even though…” and comparisons introduced by “In contrast.” The overall meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in sentence construction and agreement. For example, “later had to witness a drop” lacks a clear subject, while “its went upto” has an incorrect pronoun and verb form. “Retail and Healthcare sectors faced a increase” also has an article error, and “comparing to the starting years” is not formed correctly. Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, particularly around commas and full stops. Build more reliable sentences with an explicit subject and verb, and check articles, pronouns, and punctuation.

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