Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

These multiple graph illustrates that the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between year 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is noticeable that number of jobs in Healthcare sector had significantly increased over the year and same goes for the retail category, however it's growth had been slow down after 2000.While, Manufacturing Sector increased at the beginning but declined after two decade.In contrast, Agriculture sector consistently dropped down the job proportion throughout the period.

Firstly, the number of jobs in healthcare sector was 2.5 millions, doubled in 1980, 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020.

While, Retail started at 6 million jobs in 1960 and after two decades it reached at 10 million.In 2000 it appraoched to 15 million jobs and lastly it meets the healthcare sector point which was 16 million in 2020.

On the other hand, in Manufacturing sector, Jobs are 15 million in 1960, peaked at 20 million in 1980 and after that it dropped to 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020.In Agriculture sector, it consistently declined, initially it stands at 6 million,then fall to 3 million in 1980 and remain same till 2000 and steadliy dropped to to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and provide a clear overview of their main directions: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks and then falls, while agriculture declines. Most figures and comparisons match the chart, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million and retail and healthcare both reaching 16 million by 2020. The healthcare starting figure is slightly inaccurate: it is about 2 million, not 2.5 million; this is a minor discrepancy. Your overview also says retail growth slowed after 2000, which is supported by the smaller increase from 15 to 16 million. To make the account more fully developed, clarify the key change in ranking: manufacturing was highest in 1980, whereas retail and healthcare were joint highest in 2020. The response selects relevant features and reports them clearly, with some scope for sharper comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs that group the rising sectors separately from the declining ones. This makes the main trends easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Firstly,” and “On the other hand” help signal the stages of the report, although “While” begins a fragment in the detail section, and the repeated use of “While” and “In” can make the progression feel mechanical. Some punctuation spacing also interrupts the flow, for example “2000.While” and “2020.In”. Use complete sentences and connect related figures more smoothly, perhaps by comparing retail and healthcare directly in the same sentence. Clearer transitions between the overview and details would strengthen the progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “significantly increased,” “peaked,” “declined,” and “consistently declined.” These choices communicate the broad movements, and terms such as “sector” and “proportion” show an attempt to use task-appropriate language. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward: “growth had been slow down” and “it meets the healthcare sector point” do not express the intended comparisons naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “appraoched” and “steadliy,” and “multiple graph” is not an appropriate description of this single line graph. Aim for precise trend language and check spelling; for example, say that retail “rose more slowly after 2000” and that it “matched healthcare at 16 million.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including the contrast in “Manufacturing Sector increased at the beginning but declined after two decade” and the sequence describing agriculture. The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. The opening has subject–verb disagreement (“These multiple graph illustrates”), and several phrases have problems with articles, number, or verb forms, such as “the number of jobs in Healthcare sector,” “it reached at 10 million,” and “it consistently declined, initially it stands.” The sentence beginning “While, Retail…” is also incomplete, and punctuation is sometimes missing after full stops. Use consistent past tense for the historical data, check singular/plural agreement, and make each sentence grammatically complete. More accurate control of these patterns would improve clarity while retaining your range of sentence forms.

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