Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, there are four sectors namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Healthcare and reatail increased through the passage of time while, manufacturing and healthcare face the decresed phase.

In 1960,retail have jobs of 5 millions which increased dramatically and reached to 15 millions in 2020, moreover healthcare have the 3 millions jobs in 1960 which rose significantly and beacme 10 million in 2000 and again increased to 15 millions in 2020.

On the other hand, manufacturing have 15 millions jobs in 1969 which increased and reached to 20 million and than they face the deceased dramatically to 13 millions in 2020.

Furthermore, agriculture have 5.5 millions jobs in 1969 which declined economically to 3 million in 1980 and again decreased to 2 millions in 2020.thus the four factors face different phase in this period of time

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million before falling to 13 million, and agriculture declining to 2 million. However, the overview is unclear and internally inconsistent: it says both healthcare and retail increased, then says manufacturing and healthcare decreased. Manufacturing, not healthcare, declined after its peak. Some figures and dates are inaccurate: retail is about 6 million in 1960 and 16 million in 2020, while healthcare is about 2 million and 16 million respectively; manufacturing’s peak is in 1980, not 1969. The response is also 145 words, below the 150-word minimum. Give a clear overview of the contrasting trends and report the key figures accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about rising and falling sectors. Phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to connect information. However, progression is weakened by the contradictory overview and by grouping trends unclearly: the second paragraph says healthcare increased, then also describes it as decreasing. Some linking expressions are awkward or do not show a precise relationship, and the final sentence repeats the general idea that the sectors changed without adding a useful comparison. Organise the details into clear groups—rising sectors and declining sectors—and use transitions that accurately signal each contrast.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “increased,” “declined,” “dramatically,” and “significantly,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, including “reached to,” “decreased economically,” and “face different phase.” Repetition of “increased” and “jobs” also makes the description less precise. Spelling errors such as “reatail,” “decresed,” and “beacme” are noticeable and reduce clarity. Use standard trend language consistently—for example, “rose to,” “fell to,” “peaked at,” and “remained stable”—and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses joined with “while” and “which,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur repeatedly: “retail have jobs,” “healthcare have,” and “manufacturing have” should use singular agreement, while “which increased and reached” needs a clear subject and tense. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable, as in “2020.thus,” and commas are often missing after introductory phrases. These problems sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build longer sentences from a clear subject and verb; then check agreement, articles, plurals, and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.