Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
the line chart depicts about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020
it is vivid that the largest number of jobs was healthcare by last year while agriculture jobs was not increase till the last year
As per the given data the manufacturing job starting in 1960 in this year this job was gradually increase till the 1980 after some years it was declined suddenly by numbers of manuafacturing job while the numbers of Healthcare sectors was increase by numbers 3 it was starting increase in 1980 by number 5 then it was went up bt 16 in 2020
Moving furthur to the numbers of Retail jobs which was starting by 6 it was climbed
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You identify the chart’s subject and mention relevant sectors, including manufacturing, healthcare and retail. However, the report is incomplete and only minimally summarises the data: it ends mid-sentence after “it was climbed,” and agriculture receives no meaningful account beyond the unclear claim that it “was not increase.” The overview that healthcare had the most jobs by 2020 is also inaccurate, as healthcare and retail both reached about 16 million. You give only a few figures and omit key comparisons, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 before declining and agriculture falling overall. The response is 110 words, 40 below the 150-word minimum. To improve, complete the report, give a clear overview, and select the main trends with accurate comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening identifies the chart, followed by comments on manufacturing and healthcare, then retail. Phrases such as “As per the given data” and “Moving further” signal a change of focus. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the report is unfinished, the sectors are not covered systematically, and several ideas are joined in long, unclear sentences. For example, the manufacturing and healthcare trends are combined in one sentence without a clear comparison. Paragraphing is also limited, and the opening overview does not lead into a complete account. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and grouped trends, and connect each comparison explicitly.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “line chart,” “sectors,” “gradually,” “declined,” and “climbed,” so the reader can recognise the general topic and direction of change. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, making parts of the report hard to understand. For instance, “the largest number of jobs was healthcare” does not clearly describe the number of jobs, while “increase by numbers 3” is not a natural way to report a figure. There are also spelling errors such as “manuafacturing” and “furthur.” Build a more precise set of trend expressions and use standard phrases such as “employment in healthcare rose to” or “the number of jobs fell.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts to describe changes over time and includes some longer sentence forms, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently obscure relationships between ideas. Examples include “the manufacturing job starting in 1960,” “this job was gradually increase,” and “it was went up,” where verb forms and tense are not controlled. Agreement and sentence construction are also problematic in “agriculture jobs was not increase.” Several clauses run together without clear punctuation, particularly the sentence beginning “As per the given data.” Practise forming accurate past-tense comparisons: for example, “Manufacturing employment rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980, then fell.” Shorter, complete sentences would improve clarity while you build more varied structures.
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