Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrate the number of employment across four sectors in US from 1960 to 2020. Four sectors named as Manufacturing, Retail, Agricultural and Healthcare.

Overall , the demand of Manufacturing and Agricultural experience a fall in number of employment from bigening to ending in the given years. On the other handnumber of jobs in Healthcare and Retail deaprtment had a great spike in given time frame.

It is clear form the diagram that number of employment in Retail was 6 million in 1960 and Healthcare department having jobs only 2 million in 1960 which then goes up along the jobs in Retail sector and reached at 16 million in 2020 .

Meanwhile, Mnufacturing sector was on top in 1960 among all sectors having jobs 15 million which then goes up after two decades to 20 million after this hike it then gradually decreased and reacheed at 13 million in 2020. Among all these sectors Agriculture sector failed to got an increase in jobs as it was on 6 million in 1960 which then delined to 2 million in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline over the period, while retail and healthcare rise. Several key figures are also accurate, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall from 6 to 2 million. However, the overview is not fully precise: manufacturing did not fall throughout, but first rose before declining. The account also says retail and healthcare rose together, without clearly distinguishing their different paths; healthcare increased steadily from 2 to 16 million, while retail rose from 6 to 16 million and then levelled off slightly. Include the 2000 figures and make these stages clearer to give a more complete summary of the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors and their figures. Sequencing is generally understandable, and phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Meanwhile” help signal contrasts. However, some connections are awkward or unclear. For example, “which then goes up along the jobs in Retail sector” does not clearly explain how the healthcare and retail trends relate, and the final paragraph combines manufacturing and agriculture without a clear transition between them. The overview also repeats the general rise/fall contrast rather than organising the trends precisely. Use clearer referencing and group the sectors by trend, with each comparison explicitly linked to its relevant years.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “sector,” “gradually decreased,” “reached,” and “time frame,” so the main information is usually understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “demand” for the number of jobs, “great spike” for a steady rise, and “failed to got an increase.” There are also spelling errors, including “bigening,” “deaprtment,” “Mnufacturing,” and “reacheed,” which reduce the accuracy of the presentation. Aim for precise, conventional language for describing data, such as “employment,” “rose steadily,” and “declined,” and proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “which then” and contrastive structures such as “On the other hand.” The overall meaning can generally be followed, but some grammatical errors recur. The opening needs subject–verb agreement and an article: “The line graph illustrate” should be “The line graph illustrates.” Other examples include “Manufacturing and Agricultural experience a fall,” where the verb form is incorrect, and “Healthcare department having jobs,” which is not a complete clause. Tense and sentence construction are also inconsistent in “which then goes up … and reached.” Use past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, and check agreement, articles, and complete clause structure when editing.

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