Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the information about the proportion of work in four different sectors of economy of American from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, four work sectors at the given is maufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Furthermore, the most noticable decrease can be seen in two sectors which are manufacturing and agriculture while retail and healthcare increased rapidly throughout the years.

Manufacturing was leading in 1960 with 15 million jobs and peaked in 1980 with 20 million jobs. Afterwards it decreased gradually almost 17million in the year 2020. While retail was approximately 6 million in 1960, it experianced significant increase in the year 1980s till 2000 reaching 15 million and after that it stayed relatively stable till 2020 almost 16 million.

On the other hand, a rapid rise can be observe in healthcare in the begining it was less then 5million in 1960 and now in 2020 it surpassed all the job sectors with proportion of almost higher the 16 millions. Moreover agriculture only decreased with the time. In 1960 it was almost 6 million in proportion but in 2020 in decreased too approximately 2 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline, while retail and healthcare grow, and you support this with several relevant figures. The account of manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and retail’s rise to about 15 million by 2000 is broadly accurate. However, there is a significant data error: manufacturing falls to about 13 million in 2020, not 17 million; 17 million is its 2000 figure. The claim that healthcare “surpassed all the job sectors” is also inaccurate: it reached about 16 million, roughly equal to retail, rather than exceeding it. The overview is useful, but the final-period comparisons and some trends need more precise reporting to make the coverage consistently clear.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the sectors. The progression from manufacturing and retail to healthcare and agriculture is easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “Afterwards,” “On the other hand,” and “Moreover” help signal relationships. Some connections are less clear or slightly mechanical, however. For example, “While retail was approximately…” follows a sentence about manufacturing without a clear contrast structure, and “in the beginning” does not specify the starting point as smoothly as a direct year reference would. The overview also repeats the sector list after the introduction. More precise referencing and smoother links between comparisons would make the organisation more consistently effective.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “peaked,” “decreased gradually,” “significant increase,” and “relatively stable,” which helps describe the graph. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “proportion of work” for job numbers, “work sectors,” and “surpassed all the job sectors with proportion of almost higher.” Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “maufacturing,” “noticable,” “experianced,” and “begining.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Aim for standard chart language such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” and “rose to,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including comparisons with “while” and “although”-like contrast structures, and the main meaning is generally recoverable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in sentence construction and verb forms. For example, “a rapid rise can be observe” needs a past participle, while “in 2020 in decreased” has an incorrect subject–verb form. The sentence beginning “Overall, four work sectors at the given is…” is structurally incomplete, and “in the beginning it was…” needs clearer punctuation and sentence framing. There are also issues with articles, plurals, and number expressions, as in “16 millions.” More accurate clause construction and consistent past-tense reporting would improve control while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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